


Behind a Germaphobe's Mask

by sakusasbiggestsimp



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Kiss, First Relationship, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Love, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Reader-Insert, Second year Sakusa Kiyoomi, Sexual Content, Soft Sakusa Kiyoomi, Some Humor, just a little angst i swear, nothing too big
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:33:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26865208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakusasbiggestsimp/pseuds/sakusasbiggestsimp
Summary: Sakusa Kiyoomi considered himself to be a regular teenage boy with exceptional hygiene and someone who was considerably adept in the art of volleyball.Associated with the label of “regular teenage boy” were these dirty things known as hormones, specifically sex hormones. Sakusa didn’t think that he would care about regular teenager things like dating anyone considering he hated being in close proximity to anyone and everyone, and he actually thought he was asexual and aromantic or something along those lines.That was all before he met you.Sakusa doesn’t know how he is supposed to go about the physical intimacy involved in dating, but he’ll try for you.
Relationships: Sakusa Kiyoomi & Reader, Sakusa Kiyoomi/Reader
Comments: 68
Kudos: 467





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this fanfiction Sakusa Kiyoomi is a second-year, meaning he's like 16/17 years old.
> 
> I chose not to put an underage warning, because the reader is his age, and where I live, it is legal to engage in such activities at 16 as long as your partner is not over 18 or younger than 16 (meaning your both are almost the same age).
> 
> There is explicit content in this fic, but I'm assuming that's what most of you came here for anyways. This story does not disrupt the plot of Haikyuu in any way, and it takes place in the same universe. Already in Haikyuu, there isn't a lot about Sakusa anyways apart from his germaphobia, but I will try my best to make this fic represent him as he appears in the anime/manga.
> 
> This story will update at least once a week unless otherwise specified.
> 
> With all that being said and addressed, enjoy!~

_Ding._

Sakusa patiently waited for his cousin, Komori, to open the door. As soon as he touched the doorbell, he took out his hand sanitizer and rubbed it onto his gloved hands, thoroughly disinfecting them, as well as rubbing the extra on the sanitizer bottle as well. Sliding it back in the pocket of his black sweatpants, he turned his head back up at the sound of the door opening.

Komori stood there, at his door, wearing his pajamas and a confused expression, shivering slightly at the cold from outside. He even looked sort of tired.

“I got your text, but what’s so urgent that you have to come see me in the middle of the night. I know it’s a Sunday tomorrow, but I still like sleeping, ya know,” Komori started, regarding his germaphobic cousin with fatigue. He noticed the unusual restlessness in Sakusa’s eyes, one that was hardly recognizable by others, but as his cousin and self-proclaimed closest friend, he was an exception.

With a weary sigh, Komori opened the door wider and beckoned Sakusa to come into his house.

Sakusa glanced around his relative’s place, admiring how clean they kept it - although, it was mostly his aunt, Komori’s mother, that kept it this way. Komori himself was a disorganized mess most of the time, but Sakusa found his cousin bearable, accustomed to his filth since childhood.

“My parents are sleeping by the way,” Komori announced with a yawn, and Sakusa noticed then just how exhausted he really sounded. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to visit him about his issues after all. Komori peeped at Sakusa, and internally rolled his eyes at the guilt written all over his masked face.

“It’s too late to hate yourself for disturbing my beauty sleep Kiyoomi-kun,” Komori teased, singing out the last part, jokingly acting cute. “Wait, what about _your_ parents?”

Sakusa raised an eyebrow, “What about my parents?”

Sakusa could see Komori’s eyes widening dramatically in the dark as they walked up the stairs to Komori’s room. “You mean your parents don’t know you’re at my place? They’re going to kill both of us!”

Sakusa shushed Komori, and eyed the hall between Komori’s room and his aunt and uncle’s room, making sure that they wouldn’t bust him.

“Quiet down. My parents know I’m here, I told them I would sleepover at your place. My mom texted your mom, so she either already got the message or she’ll read it in the morning,” Sakusa explained.

“Then why are you shushing me and acting all suspicious,” Komori inquired.

“Because I’m a nice person and I don’t want to disturb your parents’ sleep, idiot.” Sakusa shoved his shaking cousin, who really couldn’t hold in his laughter for his life, into the room, scanning the mess in Komori’s room with contempt.

“Never thought you considered yourself to be nice,” Komori snorted out, wiping the wetness in his eyes that had started to emerge, and seating himself on his bed, where he had been sleeping in a few minutes ago before receiving his cousin’s text.

“I am nice,” Sakusa whispered, almost like he was trying to convince himself.

“Only time I’ve ever seen you be somewhat nice is with your girlfriend, and even then, I don’t know how she puts up with you,” Komori pointed out. He noticed how Sakusa shrunk in a little at the mention of you, which piqued his curiosity.

“Hey, what’d you want to talk about anyways,” he said, a little softer this time, gesturing for Sakusa to sit down beside him. Sakusa mumbled something out, but it was far too quiet, and the mask on his face wasn’t helping get his voice out either.

“Why are you so awkward today? Just act how you usually act, and we can talk how we usually do,” Komori tried, urging Sakusa to open up. It was tough to get the teen to talk about his thoughts, and it took time, but Komori knew how important it was for Sakusa to have someone to rely on. Ever since you and Sakusa met, he was glad that Sakusa had found another person to be all ‘emotional’ with, but he also recognized the difference between his best-friend-like relationship with Sakusa and your budding romantic relationship with Sakusa. You and Sakusa were new, and a lot of boundaries and limits were, understandably so, still in place.

Sakusa flopped onto Komori’s bed lazily with a grunt, splaying sideways into the sheets and covering his eyes with the back of his hand. He seemed to be contemplating something for a while, or maybe he was just trying to sleep in that weird position - Komori didn’t know, but he figured the best course of action was to give him time, so he shut his eyes and hummed gently, hoping the soothing vibrations would seep into Sakusa and ease his gated emotions.

A few seconds later, Komori was hit with one of his own silky pillows and knocked into the wooden floor of his bedroom, dropping with a loud thud that he prayed wouldn’t wake up his parents.

“Hey man, what’s your problem?! Here I am, trying to be a good friend, and then there’s you, beating me up with no regard,” Komori reprimanded, although there was a slight smile on his face because he knew what this meant. It always happened before Sakusa opened up. He would become frustrated and smack something near him, in this unfortunate case it happened to be Komori, who should have anticipated it, and _then_ he would release all the bottled up thoughts in him. Sometimes though, Komori wished he could smack his cousin back, but the one time he did, they ended up getting really physical, and even though it was half-jokingly, the both of them were pretty strong and bruised each other up pretty bad.

Sakusa glared at his cousin with an undecipherable expression before sighing sadly and turning to the side, where Komori was climbing back into his bed and into the covers. Sakusa felt Komori’s legs slide under the sheets and nudge his own legs, and he backed up from the feeling until his head was dangling off the side of Komori’s huge bed.

Letting the blood rush to his head before he could no longer handle it, Sakusa lifted himself up, lifting his fingers to his face and sliding it off, discarding it on Komori’s nightstand. 

“You’re even less touchy than usual,” Komori observed. He looked at his cousin, who had finally taken off the mask and would voice his problems any moment now.

_Any moment now._

“I want to be more physical with her,” Sakusa confessed.

Komori froze. He literally couldn’t believe what Sakusa was saying. He hadn’t thought about it before, but he realized that the nature of Sakusa and your relationship probably wasn’t normal...had the two of you even held hands before?

When Komori looked at Sakusa again, like, actually looked, because he had just been staring at him blankly for a few seconds now, he flinched at the dirty glare Sakusa was giving him and realized he probably said that out loud. Oh well.

“For your information, we have held hands before,” Sakusa stated, and Komori rolled his eyes at the weirdly proud expression on the germaphobe’s face.

“If you had gloves on, it didn’t count.”

Sakusa looked at Komori as if Komori had just shit out two volleyballs.

“Gloves don’t count?!”

_Dear lord, help me, for I have no sins, no regrets but being aliv-_

Komori’s pleas for the universe to end him were interrupted by Sakusa shaking his shoulder’s violently.

“What do you mean gloves don’t count? They’re basically my hands at this point! How am I supposed to touch her without them!” Komori took a moment to etch Sakusa’s crazed look in his memory, a rare sight - he would replay that later on whenever he felt sad, to laugh at.

“Kiyoomi, I think you’re overcomplicating this for no reason.” At his words, Sakusa broke out of his stupor and reflected upon Komori’s words.

How could he not? How could he not ‘overcomplicate’ this situation?

When the two of you started dating not too long ago, Sakusa knew that he would someday have to be physical, but he pushed it aside again and again. Your company was more than enough, and it provided him with relief that you were with him, and not somebody else, because he wanted you and if you ever ended up with someone else, he simply didn’t know what he would do.

He hadn’t even tried to initiate any physical contact yet. He was afraid, afraid that he would touch you and he would feel disgusted against his own will, and then you would realize that he couldn’t give you that intimacy that people sought in such relationships and then you would break up with him and find someone else. When he thought about it, he knew it was selfish of him, but to be honest, so were you. If you ended your relationship with him for that reason despite being aware of his germaphobia, that didn’t make you any better.

Such thoughts polluted Sakusa, and he felt so, so guilty for thinking of you in that way, but he couldn’t help it. Realistically speaking, it was a possibility, and it was one Sakusa knew of but could never bear.

“...-omi, Kiyoomi!” Komori whisper-shouted, face closer to Sakusa than Sakusa remembered. Sakusa whipped his head a little too fast at the sudden intrusion of his space, startling Komori, who backed up, sensing his discomfort. He watched Sakusa squirm uncomfortably for a while, before sighing and continuing.

“Stop thinking so hard about it. I know what you’re thinking, that dumb pessimist-”

“ _Realist_.”

“ **_- pessimist_ ** attitude of yours.” Komori paused for a second, trying to find a way to word the analogy that sprung up in his head. “Think about volleyball.”

“What about volleyball?” Sakusa asked, gritting his teeth in annoyance, confused as to why the hell Komori was bringing up the sport in a moment where Sakusa was being vulnerable.

“Well, you don’t wear gloves when you wear volleyball. So I think you’ll be fine with your girlfriend,” Komori explained, taking a moment to think of you. Yeah, there was no reason for Sakusa not to touch you - all the times you and Komori had interacted, you seemed clean to him, at least cleaner than a volleyball that hit a floor where people had walked on.

“That’s different. Volleyball is volleyball. Girlfriend is girlfriend.”

“Do you like volleyball?”

“Yes,” Sakusa answered with slight hesitation, wondering where Komori was going with this.

“...and do you like your girlfriend?”

“Of course.” This time, Sakusa’s answer was firm. He did like you, he definitely did. If he didn’t, why would he date you? He wasn’t the type to play with people’s emotions.

“Great! So if you can touch a volleyball, you can touch her,” Komori exclaimed, although even he knew that the two were different - he just hoped it would convince Sakusa, so that he could finally sleep.

“Yeah but...with volleyball it’s different. You know it is.” _**Dammit** _. “When I’m playing, I don’t focus on the fact that I’m touching the ball, I focus on playing the sport. But if I’m touching her, obviously the only thing I’m going to be thinking is touching her,” Sakusa tried to explain, with a slight flush on his face from talking about touching you so much.

He wanted to, he really did. Having such a pretty girlfriend by his side, he knew he could touch you and he knew you would let him (hopefully). But he didn’t know if he would like it when he actually did it, and the possible consequences he would face if he didn’t - for some reason - were not appealing to him.

“Have you tried touching her?” It was Sakusa’s time to ' _ **dammit** '_, now.

Komori furrowed his eyebrows and then raised them in revelation, realizing that his cousin had not even _tried_ to touch you because of his fears. Sakusa remained quiet, ready for Komori to burst at him. For him to say the word Sakusa had been repeating to himself for the past few days unconsciously, too afraid to face the reality despite being a ‘realist’.

“You- I mean- God, you’re such a-”

_Incoming..._

“Coward!”

Sakusa cringed at the volume, gesturing Komori with his hand to _shut up a little bit, dude_.

“You’re such a coward! Of all people, Kiyoomi I- UGH! So dumb, you know? You’re so stupid!” He continued rebuking Sakusa for a few minutes, until he noticed Sakusa had curled into himself in a pitiful manner.

Sakusa groaned at Komori’s silence. Whatever Komori was going to say next, Sakusa knew it would be serious.

“Talk to her about it. Be a better partner- Be the partner that you would want and communicate your worries to her. If you think it’s going to end because you touch her and realize you can’t, and she breaks up with you because of that, realize that it was bound to happen and it wouldn’t have worked out in the long-term anyways. Goodnight.” Sakusa couldn’t even argue against that.

“Fine. Goodnight.” And with that, Sakusa got up and made his way downstairs to have some water before sleeping. The conversation, his vulnerability, Komori’s harsh but completely true words all had his throat feel dry.

Sipping the water, he decided that he would bring it up the next time you guys were alone and spending ‘couple time’ together: next weekend. He slightly cringed at the fact that he would have to face you for an entire week at school while knowing that he would bring up a topic a few days after that would permanently change the relationship, but he also knew that he had to do it.

For you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter there will be some lime! (sexual themes, but not entirely explicit yet).


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly fluff~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's pretend that AOT exists in the Haikyuu Universe when they were all in highschool~ :P

“Come on, let’s watch Attack on Titan~”

Sakusa stared at you, wondering how he was even supposed to bring it up. With you actually being there now, at his home with his parents gone to run some errands, the sun beginning to set - he was feeling the pressure.

It didn’t help that you were staying the night for the first time ever - although Sakusa had been the one to suggest that in the first place, to your utter bewilderment. Yesterday, after school, he was the one who pulled you aside for a minute before you went about your day and told you to spend the night. He didn’t even try making it sound like an offer; he was commanding you to bring over your ‘sleepover gear’.

No one had ever slept in his bed. Not even Komori. Everytime he had a sleepover with Komori, it was at Komori’s place, because Sakusa knew that his cousin would disrupt the peaceful, neat state his room was always in. Sakusa knew you respected his wishes, at the very least.

Currently, he was watching you convince him to watch Attack on Titan with you, but…

“You said you already watched it though, so it’ll be boring for you,” Sakusa argued. You brought your hands to slap your cheeks and opened your eyes wide dramatically, leaning in with pure annoyance etched on your face.

“Yeah, and I already told you that I need to rewatch it! I won’t find it boring, but I want you to watch it!” Sakusa frowned slightly and you fought to keep the smile off your face at the sight of his cute pouting.

“Why do you want me to watch it so bad?” Seeing his genuine curiosity annoyed you even more, because you had already explained it to him a million times.

“IT. IS. A. MASTERPIECE. So please ~,” you attempted to persuade him. You stared at him through your thick lashes, trying your best to cajole him, your hands still squishing your cheeks, while he watched you, thinking of a way to refuse you. You didn’t know what his reason was, but sometimes he would argue with you just for the sake of arguing with you, prolonging the conversation as much as possible. You supposed because he was opposed to contact, he preferred talking, but that was hardly the case - he barely spoke to other people at all. 

You heard him sigh and internally screamed, knowing he had come up with some stupid reason not to watch the anime with you, and you forced your brain to come up with something, anything at all - something indisputable.

 _Maybe this’ll convince him_ , you thought, ready to execute your improvised prank.

“If you say no, I’m breaking up with you,” you said jokingly. You honestly weren’t sure what you were expecting, but Sakusa’s reaction was alarming.

You doubted he was even breathing, seeing how his mask had completely stilled along with the rest of him. He was boring holes into the wall behind you, and his fingers were grasping his thighs harshly. You panicked, trying to calm him down.

“I was just joking- I mean, I would never blackmail you like that, what kind of person would that make me, I wouldn’t break up with you over that,” you rambled on, hands hovering over him.

Not touching him, Sakusa noticed, coming out of his daze. You were never really touching him. How considerate, he thought bitterly.

He realized he was being insolent, not responding to you, so he looked up at you, aware of the way your eyes slightly widened when they met his own, and your speech pausing. He was about to clarify when you interrupted him.

“Are you going to break up with me?”

Sakusa widened his eyes this time, aghast that you would even think he would break up with you. The main reason Sakusa was dating you was so you would never leave his side, and you would always be his. He never mentioned it to you or pondered on it too much, but whenever he imagined his future, as a pro volleyball player, hopefully playing for Japan’s national team, he imagined you there with him - in the front row, cheering him on, supporting him like he would support whatever you pursued. Introducing you to his teammates, like he already had with his current team, being able to proudly state that: ‘ _yeah, this is my hot-as-fuck girlfriend and she’s the best and she’s mine and I’m hers_ ’.

Why on Earth would you think “-that I would break up with you?” Sakusa had voiced that out loud, purposefully. You thought about his proclamation, seemingly unconvinced.

Scrutinizing him, you squinted and eyed him cautiously while swaying from side to side, afraid that he would pull a volleyball out of his bed sheets and whack you with it. You noticed the obvious change in his demeanor when he shrunk up into himself a bit, and took a few steps away, giving his space. He noticed your feet moving, and jerked his head up, glaring hard at you.

“Why won’t you break up with me?” This wasn’t how he had planned to ‘communicate his thoughts’ but then again, he didn’t have a plan at all, and he figured his honesty would be appreciated.

“Huh?” Sakusa saw how you had no clue what he was talking about, which both relieved and frustrated him.

“We’re dating, right?” You nodded, and he nodded at your confirmation. “Well, people who date… you know.” You didn’t know.

He groaned at the lack of response and started making weird gestures with his hands. You looked even more confused at that, and it seemed like he had run out of patience.

“Just look at us! You don’t even touch me-”

“I thought you were germaphobic-”

“-and we don’t do what other couples do!" He ignored, or maybe just didn't hear, your comment. "We haven’t even held hands, and it’s just so frustrating because I want to but- I can’t initiate it! And you- you never try either! You always distance yourself from me and- Seriously, I mean, are we even dating? Can we even call this dating? The guys in my class are always talking about how they’re ‘getting it’ but how am I supposed to have sex with you if I can’t even kiss you or hold han-umph wif fou.”

You both stared at each other, both sporting a blush: him, because he had basically just told you he wanted to fuck you, and you because of his proclamation.

But the main reason for the two of you was probably the contact. Your fingers, which were roughly pushing against the thin material of Sakusa's mask to shut him up, gently retreated. Unable to form any coherent words, you stared at his lips and he stared at your hands. You spoke first.

“Sorry for-”

“SEE! Now you’re even apologizing for- for what?! Touching your own boyfriend?! You should be allowed to do whatever you want with me bu-”

“HOLY SHIT WILL YOU SHUT UP?” Both of you were stunned by your sudden outburst, but you recovered quicker than him, speaking a little quieter than before - you didn’t want to disturb his neighbours.

“I just touched your lips...with my hands. I mean, yeah, I know you’re wearing a mask, but…,” you took a deep breath, bracing yourself to ask the next question, “...were you disgusted?”

You were glad that Sakusa actually took a moment to pause and think about it. You didn’t want to force himself to do anything with you.

“I… I wasn’t, but I was wearing my m-”

“I know,” you intervened. “So can I- and tell me if I’m moving too quickly! So can I, um- I mean, can you-” You didn’t even have to finish your sentence for Sakusa to oblige. It shocked you sometimes, when you really thought about it, how well you two could read each other sometimes. Maybe this is what people called _chemistry~_?

The way he did it though, was unexpected. Grabbing your hands with his gloved ones, he brought them to his face. You saw him gulp in nervousness before he pressed your fingers inwards to curl on the edges of his mask, and pushed down, taking his mask off.

You didn’t see Sakusa without a mask on often, usually just at his games and once or twice on occasions that called for it. When you thought it about, yeah, your relationship wasn’t exactly normal but… every relationship was different, right? You had assumed he would be distant and would open up gradually, and it seemed like that was happening now, unexpectedly so.

Sakusa was shaking a little, nervous tremors running throughout his body, but mostly his hands. His gloved hands, _stupid gloves, stupid mask, stupid no touching, stupid germs_ \- _Yeah_ , he concluded. _It was all because of stupid germs that existed_. Previous therapists had tried convincing him that “there were good germs too” but he just couldn’t handle it. The idea of something foreign invading his space, something alive, something that could harm him - it sent shivers down his spine.

He tried not to think about it when he brought your hands away from his mask and towards his exposed face. Closing his eyes in concentration, he tried to focus on your warmth seeping through his gloves and radiating from your body, but he couldn’t stop thinking about how he was going to feel disgusted and then you would break up with him and go find someo-

“We don’t have to do this.” Sakusa peeled open his eyes slowly to observe your reaction to the events. Komori’s words, or more specifically, a _word_ started to ring in his ears.

_Coward._

He was acting like a coward, wasn’t he? He continued watching you - you had a look on your face that, if you were to voice your thoughts, probably said “I don’t want you to force yourself.” Sakusa didn’t want to force himself either, so he decided to act based purely off his own pure, natural instinct.

“I’m not forcing myself. I’m just- _we_ are just trying,” he affirmed out loud. You seemed taken aback for a moment, before slowly nodding.

“Do as you please then.”

Sakusa was so, so grateful for your cooperation- seriously, how did he manage to find you?

Instead of making you touch his face, he let go of your hands, letting them drop slowly to your sides. He stared down at his own hands, covered in plastic.

_Fuck it._

He removed his gloves, and discarded his mask completely, exiting his room to go throw them away. When he returned, he saw that you had taken a seat on his bed, facing his tv. You smiled softly and patted down the space next to you. Sakusa shook his head.

“Let’s...cuddle. In the sheets.” He made his decision when he left the room, when he could finally think rationally without your exposed thighs - _why did you decide to wear such short shorts today?_ He was glad you were wearing your hoodie, because if he saw the slightest amount of cleavage, he probably would’ve moved things too quickly for both of you.

See, he did think dirty things about you! He just needed to stop being a coward about it.

Your smile brightened, and Sakusa tried not to stare at your ass when you climbed up the bed, averting his eyes to the tv, where the netflix preview of Attack on Titan had just ended. It seemed like you had already made your decision on that.

Glancing back at you, tucked in his satin sheets, looking oh so welcoming, Sakusa slipped into the bed, keeping some distance between the two of you.

“I don’t want to push you, but this isn’t cuddling,” you told him, frowning at the few inches he wasn’t crossing. Sakusa couldn't bring himself to close it, but he did want to try cuddling.

“You do it.” You raised your eyebrows, not expecting that command at all, but you weren’t complaining.

_Here goes nothing- or, everything really._

Scooting closer to him, Sakusa heard the fumbling of your body getting closer to his, and he felt his face heat up from your warmth. Before you touched him, you pressed play on the first episode and rested the remote on your side, away from his prying hands.

“No changing it,” you instructed, feeling satisfied at his nod even though he was frowning.

Finally, you touched him, cautiously resting your hand on his stomach.

“I’m no expert on physical contact,” you rolled your eyes at Sakusa’s attempted joke, “but I’m pretty sure this is considered awkward.” Before you could get bold with the physical contact and slap him, Sakusa continued. “Cuddle me however you find it comfortable. I’ll bear with it.”

“Fine, you brought this upon yourself.” And with that, you shifted even closer until you two were _really touching_ beneath the sheets. His sweats had ridden up, so your feet were brushing against his ankle. Your body was sideways, thigh slightly on his hips, hand still resting on stomach but with more ease now. You gave him one more look, searching for any actual discomfort, before resting your forehead against his shoulder and turning your head to face the tv.

“Do you feel bad?” Sakusa considered your question seriously, this time determined to give you an actual, honest answer,

“No, not bad, but...weird.” He noticed you beginning to retreat and decided to finally, _finally_ respond with his body.

Pulling you back, he cleared his throat and continued. “As I was saying *ahem*, it is weird because it’s- hmmm, how do I say this? Ah. I’m not used to it.” He glanced at you and then back at the tv. “I don’t find it disgusting.” Both of you were relieved at that.

“So you won’t break up with me?” Sakusa shoved his shoulder into your face. You rested your face in the crook of his neck, letting out your laughing breaths.

Sakusa felt the blood rush to his head - both of them - and inhaled a shaky breath.

_Not yet. Soon._

He nudged his shoulder up, causing your face to smash into his neck, which caused you to pull away because you couldn’t breathe like that.

Clearing his throat once again, trying to soothe the dryness of it, he nodded his head towards the tv.

“The first episode has started.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are going to kiss soon~ (wow, how scandalous)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunk Sakusa~

After that day, the two of you, especially Sakusa, had gotten a little more comfortable about the whole touching thing.

You would brush against his shoulder while walking together, lean into him more while sitting, run your fingers gently over his gloved ones at lunch, all on his request of course. He had asked you to ‘feel free to touch’ him whenever you pleased, but out of respect (and uncertainty) you only did so on his covered body parts.

He was the one who touched you without gloves on. He told you it was because he wanted to reciprocate your effort, so he would ruffle your hair in amusement, hold your hand in his while walking, one time he even let you borrow his volleyball hoodie when you underdressed for the cold weather. Small things that made you feel all warm and tingly inside.

The past week though, you two hadn’t interacted much. You told him that you would distance yourself from him so he could focus on the Inter high qualifications and you thought he would agree right away, but he made his stupidly cute frowny face that you almost caved into.

Itachiyama always made it to nationals, you knew that, in fact the question never really was ‘will they qualify for nationals’ it was always ‘what place will they end up in nationals’ but...just in case.

Of course, they qualified. Komori didn’t have to throw a party at his place to celebrate, but the brunette was always looking for excuses to ‘get lit’.

You made your way into the front porch of Komori’s house, rubbing your running sneakers on the tiny stones engraved in the cement, before moving to stand on the bristly doormat. You heard some type of rock music playing from the inside, although it sounded quite hushed from where you were, probably because the main thing you could hear was yelling and screaming.

_So, Komori is having another drinking contest. Someone’s going to puke in his mom’s garden again._

Before you could even raise your hand to knock, the door flew open, almost smacking you in the face if it weren’t for your fast reflexes. One of Sakusa’s teammates, who looked like the captain, Iizuna, stumbled by without even noticing your presence and vomited on top of the purple flowers in Komori’s mother's garden.

A few seconds later, he collapsed on the cold stone ground, and Komori ran out through the door, also unaware of you.

“Woah dude, are you okay? I didn’t think you would drink so much,” he said, concerned, and then snorted out, “...you suck at handling your alcohol.” Komori burst out laughing and cackling and hacking his lungs out when his captain murmured something out in his unconscious state.

“No way! You seriously gave Sakusa some wine and told him it was juice?” This made you freeze up.

“You what?!” Komori whipped around in shock to look at your stunned form hovering besides the large entrance door.

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Komori assured you, rubbing his nape before shouting your name again when you started to leave him and the captain outside and make your way in.

“Wine won’t make him completely drunk… I think. He’ll probably just be tipsy. You can take him home.” Your eyes softened a bit at the guilt on Komori’s face.

“I’ll just go get him and see how he’s doing. If he wants to leave, we’ll leave, but if he wants to stay, I’m fine with that. I can watch over him,” you explained, adding in a small smile. The situation wasn’t that bad, you had just overreacted slightly when you initially heard it, but who wouldn’t? Sakusa never drank because he always wanted to be in control of everything and have a clear mind, so hearing that he could possibly be drunk was alarming, but also slightly intriguing if you were honest. What was he like when in a drunken state, free to say whatever thoughts he normally held back, with no inhibitions?

When you started going through the door and into the party again, Komori interrupted you again, yelling your name. You turned around to look at him and were taken aback by the amount of admiration written on his face.

“You’re a really good girlfriend. Sakusa is very lucky to have you.” You smiled warmly, a bit of a smirk playing onto your lips.

“I know. I’m quite lucky to have him too. Anyways, I’m sure he’s fine,” you affirmed before finally walking in.

~

Sakusa was not fine. His head felt dizzy, like when he would go to get his bloodwork done, when the needle would prick his skin and his blood would start flowing out of him - it usually felt like his soul was being ripped from him, although his current state wasn’t _that_ bad. However, he sort of felt like his body was a machine and he wasn’t pressing the right buttons, because he really wanted to tell this girl, who he thinks he saw on the girls volleyball team that qualified for nationals in their prefecture, to buzz off, please. Just leave him alone until his wonderful girlfriend comes to take care of him and his stupid, pounding headache. Seriously, what was in that apple juice?

He couldn’t tell exactly what the girl was saying, but he felt himself being pushed against a wall and she was coming a little too close.

_Get your germs away from me, please. Gosh, where is my lysol spray?_

He felt her hands touch his chest gently, but Sakusa felt like she was ripping his organs out, and he wanted to cry. He could feel himself beginning to cry for sure, as his vision got even blurrier with the added wetness. He felt disgusting, wrong, out of place, and most importantly, he didn’t feel like himself and he hated it.

And then there was a loud thump of a body being shoved roughly into the floor, and his ears started ringing but his other senses were somewhat pulled out of their drowsy, incapable state. Opening his eyes wider so he could maybe see what was going on, he was instantly filled with relief at your face - except you looked sort of murderous. The ringing stopped, though he still was feeling a bit tipsy.

“The fuck was that for? Go find someone else, you bitch!” the girl on the floor screamed. You stared her down with what you hoped was your most intimidating glare, although it wasn’t that hard when she was already below you, splayed on the floor.

“Oops,” you quietly mocked, rolling your eyes and proceeding to grab your intoxicated boyfriend by his hand, dragging him off to Komori’s bedroom. You noticed he wasn’t wearing any gloves, probably because they had just returned from their game, which you did not attend because of a few errands you had to deal with, but he wasn’t pulling away.

_Probably ‘cus he’s not in the right mind._

Opening the door, you turned around to gently tell Sakusa, who was quieter than normal, to sit down, but noticed he was slightly crying.

Heavy, wet tears were bunched up in his eyes, some rolling off his lower eyelids and down his sculpted cheeks. His eyebrows were scrunched up, bringing the two moles with them, and his nose was red on the tip. He was looking at you, it seemed, but you doubted he could actually see behind the tears.

Not knowing how to react, you placed your hands on his shoulders and led him towards the bed, giving him a pillow to cry onto, but he shoved it back into your hands.

“What...do you want me to do?” you asked him softly and unsurely, confused as to what the situation called for. He _had_ been assaulted, and coupled with his germaphobia, the experience was probably agonizing for him.

Unexpectedly, he pulled your waist towards him and the two of you fell down on the bed with your weight, his face cuddled in your stomach. You readjusted the position, moving lower so his face was in your neck instead, staining your hoodie with his tears.

“Can I hug you?” he asked, voice sounding hoarse, as he struggled to breathe amidst the feeling of heavy pressure in his heart.

“You already are,” you pointed out, unsuccessfully trying to keep the teasing tone out of your voice. He responded with a light nip to the side of your neck, and you huffed out a chuckle - and then, somehow, something shifted, and Sakusa was running his wet tongue up and down your neck, caressing the skin with his teeth, and finally sucking on it as he grunted low.

“Sakusa, what are yo- ah, hey- stop it,” you reprimanded, smacking the curls on his head.

“Don’t you want me to fuck you?” You paused, widening your eyes, and pushed yourself off of the boy, letting his words sink in, before scowling in realization.

“You idiot, you’re drunk,” you told him, moving off of the bed, but he gripped your wrist and pulled you back, this time under him.

“I think about fucking you all the time though. When I wake up, in school, after school, on the weekends, during dinner time, before I sleep, even when I sle-” You clamped your hands on his mouth.

“You’re drunk,” you forced out of your gritted teeth, willing your _stupid_ blush to go away at his _stupid_ confession. “I’m taking you back to your place.”

He looked like he was considering your words for a second, before responding. “Only if you stay the night.”

You glared at his term, wanting him to hurry and sober up. Bold Sakusa was one you were not used to, but you didn’t hate it because he was bold. You hated it because you knew he wasn’t in the right mind, and he would probably regret moving so fast with the physical contact once he had a clear head.

You had only stayed the night once, on the Saturday when you two started the contact. After that, neither of you made any plans to sleepover.

“Fine.”

~

You and Sakusa were now at _his_ house, in front of _his_ entrance door, and you prayed his parents weren’t home. You had tried asking Sakusa, but he wasn’t answering you for some reason.

“Key please,” you asked him, extending your palm out so he could give it to you. Instead, he stepped in front of you and pulled the key out of his track pant pocket, struggling to get it into the hole. When you tried reaching forward, offering to help him, he shoved you away, and when he did open the door, he went inside without even acknowledging you.

Rolling your eyes at his petty behaviour, you followed him into his own room, where he had already covered himself with his sheets, back towards you.

“Oi, dumb shit. I don’t care if you’re drunk. Talk to me,” you ordered. Tipsy Sakusa was more compliant than usual, almost as if he _wanted_ you to ask him to voice his thoughts. Pushing the sheets off, he spoke, still not facing you.

“You know, I bet Levi would let me fuck him,” he mumbled out, still hung up on the previous discussion. You internally face-palmed at the mention of the character from Attack on Titan, who seemingly shared Sakusa’s clean freak tendencies.

“Yeah well, if Levi took advantage of a drunk person like that, I would no longer stan him,” you defended, making your way to his front so you could communicate face-to-face. He was pouting and his pupils were slightly blown out, indicating that he was not completely sober yet. When he saw you nearing him, he jumped out suddenly, grabbing your shoulders and shoving your front against the bed. He had one of your arms pinned down, and he had a grip on the other one’s wrist on top of his shoulder, as he rested his knees on your sides, almost sitting down on your back.

“What. The. Fuck?” you spat out, wiggling to try and get out of his grasp.

“You fell right into my trap,” he snickered, moving down your body a little, bringing your arm with him so that your front was slightly lifted up, and ground his hips into your ass. He groaned and you turned your head to look back at him. His head was tilted upwards, towards the ceiling, and his eyes were shut in ecstasy. His lips were parted, and his own tongue was coming out to wet them, so that the red hue of his mouth matched the flush on his cheeks.

No way. No way were you going to let him do...whatever he was doing...while he was drunk. You two hadn’t even kissed yet, and his wasted mind wanted to do...this!?

“Sakusa, if you don’t get off of me, I swear to whatever god-like entity is out there, I will break up with you,” you warned. It seemed to get his attention, but he continued to press against you.

Ok, final blow.

“I’ll start dating Komori.” The movement of his hips stopped. One more. “I’ll kiss him in front of you.”

You felt the hold on you loosen, and shot out of the bed. Sakusa was frowning, and rubbing his temples, deep in concentration. Then, he looked at you, who was now making some kind of weird martial arts pose against him.

“But me and you...we haven’t even kissed yet,” he pouted, before brightening up a little and shuffling closer to you. “I have an idea! Let’s kiss right no-” You shut him off and discarded his idea before he could even finish.

“No. I am not having my first kiss with you while you’re drunk.”

“First kiss _with me_? Who else have you kissed before? I thought we would be each other’s first kisse-”

“If you don’t shut up, I’m going to go have my first kiss with Komori.” He shut up.

“Good. Now, let’s change you into your pajamas.” You walked over to his wooden dresser, stocked with cleaning supplies on the top, and opened the drawers until you found the one where his night clothes were. Grabbing a matching silky black shirt and flowy pants, you closed the drawer and shoved the outfit in Sakusa’s hands.

“Go take a shower or whatever. I already took one before meeting you at the party, _for your sake by the way_ , so I’m just going to go to sleep.” He whined, literally making a whining noise, at that, and began his protests and complaints.

“I can’t **_possibly_** wash myself in this state-”

“Do your best.”

“I’m going to feel **_so_** lonel-”

“Not my problem.”

“You could help me shower, I _**promise**_ I wo-”

“Too late.”

“Ughhhhh. Fine. Well, what about you?” You frowned, looking up at him confused.

“What about me? I already told you I showered and I won’t waste any mo-”

“Not that. _Pajamas_. Here.” He tossed the black shirt at you, looking gloomy and annoyed. “You wear that. I’ll just wear the pants alone.”

“There’s more in your drawe-”

“I’ll just wear the pants. _Alone_ ,” he repeated, with narrowed eyes, teeth gritted, hung up on his decision to sleep half-naked. He walked into his bathroom, slamming the door shut loudly. You cringed at the noise and shook your head in disapproval, looking down at the silky black shirt that was a little too big for you. Shrugging your shoulders, you removed your own clothing, settling it down on his study desk. You put the shirt on and crawled into his sheets, wearing nothing but your underwear and his shirt.

When Sakusa came back, you were already half asleep, dozing off more every second that passed.

“I’m sober now so-”

“Shut up and sleep. _Please_ ,” you groaned out, voice muffled because half your face was snuggling into the pillow.

Sakusa sighed in defeat and pulled you closer, the warmth of your clothed front heating his bare chest, and in turn, his clothed legs were intertwined with your bare ones.

The next morning was filled with apologies from a now-sober but deeply ashamed and embarrassed Sakusa who barely met your eyes, so you told him you guys could talk ‘some other day’, and that he should focus on the Inter High Nationals.

With that, you left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a Kudos if you enjoyed it and feel free to comment whatever~
> 
> BTW for anyone confused, the Inter High nationals were the ones that Karasuno did not make it to in the first season of Haikyuu. I believe that Itachiyama won those nationals, and this fic follows the Haikyuu plot, sooo.... ya know :P


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. The chapter where all the good stuff starts.

Itachiyama won the Inter High National Tournament, by beating Inarizaki High in the final round.

You weren’t there to see it first hand (regrettably), but it was all over the sports news channels, and you learned that Sakusa Kiyoomi, number 10, promising athlete with an incredibly bright future ahead of him in volleyball, your boyfriend, had won Most Valuable Player of the Tournament.

It seemed like Sakusa had learnt something from last time, telling you he wasn’t going to Komori’s celebration party, that was going to be much grander than the last. You were glad too, _no more volleyball girls to try and snatch my manz_.

Hearing a small ring come from your phone, you checked to see who had texted you. Was it Komori, perhaps wanting you to convince Sakusa into attending the party and actually socializing?

 **Germ-Hater** : My parents aren’t home. Come over.

 **You** :…

_Does he not know how suggestive that sounds?_

**Germ-Hater** : I want company.

You were quite appalled at his confession. Sakusa? Wanting to be in the presence of someone?

Apparently you had not answered for too long, too busy reflecting on the context of his message, so he tried calling you.

The first time, when you heard the loud vibrating from your phone in your hands, you were abruptly pulled out of your daze and dropped your phone by mistake, fumbling to get it but not making it on time, only barely managing to see the name **Germ-Hater** on the screen.

You didn’t expect Sakusa to try and call again; he seemed like the type of person who would call once and if the person he was trying to talk to didn’t pick up or receive the call, he would ghost them for eternity. So when you finally got a grip back on your phone and the name **Germ-Hater** popped on your screen again, you were pleasantly surprised.

“Sorry, I dropped my phone the first time,” you explained, waiting patiently for him to answer. When he finally responded, it was unlike anything you expected.

“I missed you,” he quickly whispered out, voice soft.

It was unlike Sakusa, _sober_ **Sakusa,** that is, to express himself so...tenderly, and you felt an oozing sensation of warmth tingle down your body.

It had been a while since you saw him, and the last time you guys properly spoke was the morning after _that_ day - when he got drunk and uncharacteristically touchy. You were the one who suggested the distance, so he could focus on volleyball, but really, you just needed an excuse to think about his forwardness.

You wanted him, you really did. Every bit of him, you ached for. But you were always afraid that he would be disgusted by you, and somewhere along the line, you had accepted that in your relationship with him, you two would not participate in regular dating physical intimacy. But that was okay, you supposed. You had two hands and could get yourself off, no problem. Sure, you always felt guilty about imagining him, what he would be like above you, or, as _per se_ your more recent fantasies, below you, as you moved your hips against him. It was always difficult to keep the mental image in your head, and you could never quite imagine it right, but it was sufficient.

But when he actually _touched_ you that day, you realized what you were missing out on. No amount of masturbation could beat his real pelvis pressing down hard onto your center, no fantasy could replicate his flawless face in the moment, a face you hadn’t been able to forget for the past few weeks, a face that appeared in your dreams on multiple difficult nights without the heat of his body against yours, but even in your dreams, you longed for the real thing - the _real_ feeling of the _real_ thing.

If you went to him now, and he didn’t want you, you wouldn’t be able to bear it. There was no way you could continue seeing him, after having a taste of what he could do.

You gulped, tilting your phone back to your ear.

“I’m on my way then.”

~

Sakusa was already waiting for you on his front porch, playing with a flower he had probably plucked from the garden. Twirling it in his hands, he began ripping it apart.

“Not so violent Mr. MVP,” you teasingly scolded him from the dark. He lifted his eyes from the flower briskly, searching for you in the dim light.

“You took so long,” he pouted, tossing the flower to the side. He wasn’t wearing his mask or gloves, probably because he was in the comfort of his own, clean, home. Unable to resist touching him, you poked his protruded bottom lip, pushing it back into place. He sighed into your touch, and a wisp of hope fluttered in your chest.

Removing your contact to him, you brought your hand behind you where the other one was holding a bag, and fiddled them together nervously, out of his sight, in an attempt to completely resist touching him. Smiling brightly, you pointed your head towards the door, signaling him to allow you inside. He nodded, turning around and leading you to his bedroom. When he was about to lay in his bed, you spoke up.

“Wait,” you stopped him. He turned back around to look at you, eyes showing a bit of fatigue. “Well, uh, first of all, congratulations.”

He gave you a small smile and then continued to try and get in, but you stopped him again.

“So, like, are you okay?” You were too late, and he was now already in his bed, and it was getting harder for you to think clearly and cleanly.

 _Sakusa hates dirty things, so don’t think dirty thoughts_ , you tried reminding yourself.

He frowned a bit at your question. “Uh, yeah. I’m fine. I’m great actually. We _won_.” He reminded you, wondering why you were treating him like a child who had just dropped their ice cream onto cement.

“No I- What I meant was- I mean, your body. You must be feeling quite sore after playing so much and practicing so much and training so hard and things like that…” you trailed off, suddenly not feeling so confident anymore. You squeezed the bag in your hands that was behind your back.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Actually yeah, my body does feel a little sore now that you mention it,” he replied, eyes widening a little as he moved each part of his body in circles, as if examining them for the first time since the game. You internally squealed, praying that your plan would work.

“Then...do you want a massage?” you asked him, trying to keep any emotions out of your voice that suggested you just wanted an excuse to touch him. Pulling out the bag from behind you, you unveiled the bottle of fractionated coconut oil you had brought from the market, which is why you were a bit late. He stared at you and you tried your best not to act suspicious in any way.

“Just a massage, to, you know, ease the _tension_ ,” you further explained, and you hoped he picked up the double meaning in your words. There was too much unresolved tension between the two of you, and neither knew how to address it.

“Ok. But...where?” He looked doubtful, scanning the room to spot any area where you could give him the massage. “I mean, it’ll stain my bed sheets.”

You brightened up at his willingness and the fact that his concerns were futile. “Actually, this oil doesn’t really stain sheets and it washes out easily. We can wash your sheets after I’m done.”

You thought Sakusa would hum in compliance, but for some reason he looked panicked. “What do you mean after ‘you’re done’? _You’re_ giving me the massage? I thought I would do it to myself!”

You looked down at him, confused. “I bought it so I could give you one,” you explained, annoyed that he apparently didn’t pick up on what you were trying to imply - that this massage could replace the dreadful conversation about contact neither of you had the guts to initiate. Of course, this massage too, required physical contacts, but you thought you could just wear gloves. It would be different.

“No thanks then. I’ll do it myself, you can leave,” he tried rushing you out, getting out of the bed and leading you to the door.

You didn’t want this. You were tired of the boundaries in your relationship not being clear. Tired of thinking about his advances that day, of feeling guilty and undesirable because a small, insecure and hateful part of you was always telling you that the only reason it happened was because he couldn’t think clearly. The sober Sakusa would never touch you, and you used to be fine with it, but now that you knew everything he was capable of, your perception of him - innocent and pure - had shattered. Somewhere inside him, he too, sought some sort of sinful contact, and if he really did want it, he needed to be clear about it.

“Don’t shut me out,” you stopped him, slamming the door of his room shut as he tried opening it to kick you out. You stopped glaring at him so intimidatingly when you saw how panicked he looked, and softened your gaze a bit. “Talk to me.”

He looked slightly less freaked out and he let out a long sigh, eyes still not meeting yours, so you continued to probe further.

“I’ll wear gloves when I do it, if that’s what you’re concerned ab-”

“Fine.” You looked up, eyebrows raised at his quick submission. Well, that was easier than you thought. You should’ve just told him you would wear gloves from the start.

“You don’t need to wear gloves,” you heard him mumble out, and this time, when you looked at him, he stared back, confident and assured. Before you could process the situation, he flopped onto his bed and turned his face to the side, glancing at you expectantly.

“Well?” he asked, pushing himself up to sit against the headboard. Still a bit shook and bewildered, you flipped his room light switch down and walked over to his bed, turning the lamp on his night table on, basking the room in a dim yellow aura. You stared him down and tried to find any sign that suggested he was uncomfortable, but he looked strangely...excited? Was that the word? You didn’t dwell on it for too long, opting to assess his body to see which areas could probably use the most rubbing. When you thought about it, you knew his serves and spikes were quite rigorous on his body, and probably caused strains in his back from bending it so much.

“I’m going to massage your back,” and before you could even ask him if it was okay to rub him through his clothes, he grabbed the hems of his shirt and whipped it off. Volleyball training was a blessing to the teenagers body. He looked like he had been sculpted by some talented artist in the renaissance era, sporting a chiseled chest and such a muscular physique. Everything about his body somehow matched his face - _sharp_ : protruded strong shoulders, god-knew-how-many pack abs, dark red nipples that perked up because of the cold air, milky skin completely bare of hair except for a line that went really, really low…

You really, really hoped your blush wasn’t evident, but even if it was, you felt relieved because Sakusa was also blushing, a rose hue splattered on his cheeks and chest.

“Great, uh- lie on your front please,” you said, hoping you wouldn’t choke on your own words. He nodded hastily and flipped onto his back, shoving his face into the pillows.

“Try not to suffocate yourself,” you teased. He grunted and it went straight to the space between your legs. _Fuck_.

Exhaling out a shaky breath, you climbed on the bed and tilted your head around, trying to determine a comfortable position for yourself.

“Can I sit on your lower back?” you asked him, and you hoped the request didn’t sound weird but you were already cringing at the way you worded it. Sakusa, however, simply shook his head up and down, nodding, so you lifted a leg and adjusted yourself so you were straddling his lower back and resting against his firm ass.

Deciding to just _get on with it_ , you squeezed the oil onto your bare hands, creating a wet sound as you rubbed it between your palms. Leaning forward, you brushed your fingertips against his shoulder blades lightly, eliciting a shudder from him and you briefly focused all your strength on _not_ rolling your hips down on him.

You placed your hands on his lower back muscles and first spread the oil evenly onto his skin, making the skin underneath your somewhat skilled hands glow with a sheen. You began fondling the skin and rubbing it, replaying the steps from the numerous massage themed wikihow articles that you had read before showing up at Sakusa’s house to touch him. 

Kneading the soft and shredded skin, you pressed down a little harder and Sakusa groaned in what you hope was pleasure.

“A little higher,” he insisted, and you obliged, dragging your palms against his skin upwards to the space between his shoulders and neck. Using your thumbs, you applied a slight pressure to the area and Sakusa rolled his shoulders back at the feeling.

“Yeah, ah- right there,” he divulged, voice hoarse and guttural. You struggled to _not_ imagine him saying that in a different context. You reached for the bottle to pour some more of that fractionated coconut oil onto his back, and when you did, he sighed in satisfaction at the sensation of the warm liquid on his exposed skin.

After a while of you massaging the muscles of his upper back, Sakusa hummed something out, but you couldn’t exactly hear what he said, so you asked him to repeat himself. After a few moments, in which he was faintly skeptical as to if he should voice his request or not, he spoke up.

“Can you do my shoulders?” _Of course_ , you thought, _he probably used his shoulders the most while spiking and serving the ball_. However, when you grazed your fingers on his shoulders, he shrugged them off. Lifting his head from the pillow, he turned around to look at you and you quickly put your hands on both sides of his head so you wouldn’t fall on him because of the sudden movement that threw off your balance. With your hips now hovering over him instead of on him, Sakusa rolled over to lay on his back, his face now mere inches away from yours.

“This side,” he yearned, his minty breath hitting your face. He looked out-of-it, similar to how he was when drunk, but you knew he wasn’t under the influence (unless the oil had some kind of special vapours). His eyes were misty and his lips were curved into a soft smile that was a bit slanted, but it looked so fluffy and inviting.

You tilted back as fast as possible and accidentally seated yourself on his crotch. You heard a hiss and looked down to see Sakusa with his head thrown back, eyes tightly shut, eyebrows scrunched up and lips parted - a face of undeniable pleasure. There was no way that was because of the massage.

“When you were drunk, you wanted to kiss me,” you boldly stated. He shot open his eyes and stared at you in disbelief, as if thinking that the two of you had come to a silent agreement that _that_ night shouldn’t be mentioned. Ignoring his reaction, you continued speaking, eyes locked with his. “You’re sober now. If you want to kiss me, stop being a scaredy-cat, and _just fucking do it_ ,” you huffed out, embarrased but not backing down.

In the blink of an eye, he was invading your most personal space, upon your appeal, his chest brushing against yours and his breath fanning over your face. Tilting his face at an angle, he brushed your noses together, and you brought your hands, which were limply hanging by your sides, up to grip at his shoulders. He, in turn, used the hand that wasn’t supporting his weight, to gently slide across your cheek, and you leaned into his warmth. You could see the way his alluring, dark lashes fluttered against his high cheekbones, the way his pupils were so dilated that his eyes were even darker and appeared bigger than usual, the way his tongue had already made its appearance and was swiping across his lips, making them redder and wetter, and the way that deep rosy flush tainted his fresh, pale tone.

“I’m going to kiss you then,” he avowed in a raspy voice, and you felt the vibrations from his chest seep into yours. He leaned in, skimming his soft lips against your own, until he latched onto your bottom lip, and pressed into you a bit harder. You responded on an instinct you didn’t know you possessed, leaning your face to the other side, and moving your mouth against his. His lips felt **_so_ **, incredibly soft against yours and the kiss itself felt so much different from what you anticipated.

You thought it would be hesitant and awkward, wasn't that what people usually said about first kisses? Neither of you had ever kissed anyone before, so you didn’t have anything to compare the kiss too, but Sakusa kissed you with so much passion and fervency, you had to will yourself not to faint. It was so sexual and needy, something you didn’t expect from him at all.

You pulled away from him, a thin line of saliva still connecting the two of you as you spoke, unashamedly voicing your thoughts. “You’re more desperate than I thought you would be.”

“I was wrong.” You furrowed your eyebrows, wondering if you had maybe crossed a line with that last statement. Noticing your confusion and the regretful look making its way onto your face, he quickly spoke up.

“I was wrong for thinking I wouldn’t like it. I really like it. I like that you’re doing this with me because you like me and I like you,” he explained, self-assured. You nodded and leaned in again.

“I like you,” you whispered against his lips and when you placed your lips on his again, you felt him smile.

That smile was wiped off his exquisite face relatively fast when you slid your hands down from his shoulders, to his chest, where you could finally play connect-the-dots with the numerous beauty marks littered against his body. He gasped in shock at the feeling of your hands running across his body, and, taking a risk, you took advantage of his open mouth to slide your tongue in. The risk was worth it when he groaned deep and low into your mouth, caressing your wet flesh with his own. Your tongues swirled together in combination with hot and heavy breaths as his saliva and your own mixed together and became indistinguishable. You two passionate lovers were becoming one.

Sakusa gracefully ran his hand from your cheek to your soft, voluminous hair and gently pulled it down, so he could shove his tongue further down into your mouth. At the same time, you had your arms wrapped around his broad frame, and you dug your nails into his slippery back for grasp, unintentionally scratching him. The accident seemed to ignite something in Sakusa, and he grunted as he thrust his hips up into yours. You could feel his erection through the thin material of his sweatpants and it was so perfectly lined up with your core, so you ground down on him, causing him to let out a sobbing whine at the same time you moaned in a higher pitch than your usual voice.

You pulled back from his face and stared at him, lidded eyes begging for you, bruised up lips open with his tongue sticking out lewdly and his heaving flushed chest, rising shakily. Your own lips felt tingly, and as much as you wanted to return to kissing him, it was nice to see his face as you rubbed yourself onto his large bulge, loud groans and ‘ah’ sounds coming out sinfully. Sakusa let the arm supporting his weight fall and with your weight, the two of you fell over, you still on top of him.

You both stared at each other as your bodies moved in sync, neither of you wanting to stop whatever was happening and not even knowing how to stop. It all felt _too_ good, too addictive, and a fleeting thought ran through your head: _touching yourself alone was not going to suffice anymore._

“WOAH!” You and Sakusa both screamed in shock, startled by the interruption.

Komori looked at both of you, turning more red by every passing second, and for a while it was just him staring at the two of you and you both staring at him until you realized Sakusa didn’t have a shirt on. You scrambled to cover his nakedness, making him protest in disappointment when your previously joined lower parts separated.

Komori called your name, and you turned around to face him so he could speak to you. “Why are you covering him? I’ve seen him completely naked before in the changing rooms-”

“Shut. Up. Komori,” Sakusa gritted out through his clenched teeth. When you turned your face back around to look at him, his expression tried to soften, but he still looked super pissed and slightly embarrassed. You tried lying.

“We were just hugging.” Komori burst out laughing, despite being equally as uncomfortable as you and Sakusa.

“Sure, when I hug my friends, I always grind on them,” he accused with a tease. Sakusa muttered out something along the lines of ‘I’m going to kill you’ and he jolted up, making his way to his cousin, who was now already down the stairs and sprinting for his life, yelling out “My parents told me to drop some cake off for you!”

Sakusa re-entered the room with a plastic container that indeed contained some delightful looking ice-cream cake.

“My parents could have just taken it home with them whenever they were going to come back,” he mumbled with a pout. You were beyond thrilled that the atmosphere wasn’t awkward after what the two of you had just done. Cake did that.

“Who cares? That just means I can have it now. Give it to me,” you ordered him. He looked at you, eyes wide, and then looked back at the cake and smirked. Making his way back to his bed, where you hadn’t moved from, he leaned down.

“Only if you give me a kiss.” You rolled your eyes and snatched the container, watching him look at you in disgust as you literally shoved your mouth into the container, biting into the cold cake. When you came back up, you made sure there were still remnants of the ice cream bit of the cake on your lips, and you smashed your lips onto him.

“Have some cake,” you said, rubbing your lips from side to side against his. He pulled back with a scowl and then rested his face into his normal expression.

“So...are we not going to continue?” he asked, and you looked down to see his semi-hard erection.

“Take care of it yourself,” you told him, facing away from him to continue eating the cake in peace, grabbing the tv remote from his nightstand. Ah, the perks of dating a privileged child who had a tv in his room. Sakusa scowled again, and made his way into the bathroom.

“Fine. Next time you’re horny, I’m not helping.” You rolled your eyes at his proclamation. Flipping through the numerous shows you could watch on Netflix, you settled for a movie and went back to devouring the delicious cake, one thought running through your head.

_I have great self-control._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gimme a kudos if ya enjoyed it and comment down below! The sinful chapters have officially started.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More smut (no penetration yet, sadly)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while! I promise the next update will not take this long!

After that day, you two hadn’t gotten the opportunity to do anything big again, but little pecks were integrated into your daily routine.

You would go pick Sakusa up from his house, and before the two of you could make it to Komori’s to walk to school together, he would pull his mask down for a brief moment to gently his press his lips against yours and then quickly put the mask back on, hiding his own blush while feasting his eyes upon yours. It should be against the law for someone with a face like his to keep it covered, you thought.

You gave a quick look at your watch - 7:49pm. You were almost 20 minutes late.

Sakusa told you to drop by at 6pm initially, but you had more homework than him to get done, so you said you would be there by 7:30 at the latest. It was now past the latest.

With a groan, you walked across the pavement in his driveway with your head down, wanting to avoid the inevitable lecture he would give you. You heard the door open and continued walking with your eyes on the ground, wishing you could just bury yourself in it, until you saw training shoes in front of you.

“Why do _you_ look so sad? I’m the one that’s been waiting,” Sakusa reprimanded, and your breath hitched in your throat, visible in the cold air as a big puff blew out, when you finally looked up at him, with his eyebrows raised and arms crossed across his chest, unintentionally - or intentionally, you didn’t know - flexing.

A compression workout shirt and skin tight black leggings under volleyball shorts clung to every curve and dip of the defined muscles on his sculpted body - he had been training, it seemed. Sweat caused his inky curls to rain down on his forehead and his face was flushed from the straining exercise.

 _So this is what people mean when they say wetter is better_ …

Contrasting to the cold air, a hot feeling built up inside of you at the sight. He might as well have been naked because of how tight the fit of the leggings and shirt were, with the exception of the loose-ish volleyball shorts.

You frowned at him for a second, thinking, before leaning in towards his neck and taking a sniff.

“Dammit! I had a feeling you would smell good despite the sweat,” you mumbled quietly to yourself. It was truly unfair.

“Did you just- sniff me?”

“Yeah, you reek. Go shower,” you lied in jealousy, rolling your eyes. Truth was, you weren’t sure if your opinion on his smell was too biased, but sweaty or not, he smelled good.

“Whatever,” he replied, making his way inside to take a shower despite his nonchalant response. He turned for a second to glance back at you and added in a little compliment. “You look good by the way.”

You stared at him in horror. You hadn’t changed anything about your self-care routine, and you weren’t wearing anything he hadn’t seen before, so what was he implying? You voiced your concerns, with a slight undertone of anger, following him into his room.

“When do I not look good?!”

Before entering his bathroom to clean himself, he paused and looked at you confusedly at your question. 

“You always look good. I just read some articles on how boyfriends should act and one tip was to compliment your partner with phrases such as “You look good” and “I think there is something wrong with my eyes because I can’t stop looking at you” - oh, but I didn’t want to use that one yet. Guess it’s spoiled now because _someone_ is too curious”

Before he could slam the bathroom door in your face, completely petty behavior that was quite common for the germaphobe, you were able to voice your opinions on his new development.

“Please, don’t flirt with me. I’m not used to you being so nice.” The latter half of that was said as a joke, but when Sakusa was done with his shower and he stepped back into his room where you were lying in his bed and watching some show, he brought it up, with a pensive look.

“Am I a good boyfriend?” You looked up at him and analyzed his uneasy stance, which screamed insecure. At the end of the day, this boy you were dating was still a young adult with problems of his own, problems with himself. He had probably been so anxious over what you said that he didn’t even change out his clothes, so now he looked even more like some Calvin Klein model with his wet hair and Greek-God-figure-hugging outfit.

You signaled for him to snuggle in the bed beside you, and he developed his own position, resting his head on your chest and looking up at you, feet dangling off the edge of the wooden frame. You tried not to think about how your double chin was probably visible from his angle while speaking.

“You’re definitely a difficult boyfriend, but a good one. You treat me with the same respect I give you and you trust- actually, I’m not sure about that one, but I’m going to assume you trust me based off of how you confide your feelings to me, and I trust you.” It was a simple, clear answer, one you hoped would ease his worries efficiently.

“Some of the guys tease me about not satisfying you,” he confessed, looking at you in shame and discomfort. Seeing as you weren’t going to respond, he continued. “Like, they say that you’re going to end up breaking up with me or cheat on me if I don’t- if _we_ don’t, like, have sex.” He paused, like he was trying to think of how to word his concerns properly so you wouldn’t be offended, but you already understood what he was trying to get across.

“I’m patient,” you whispered into the drying, somewhat fluffy hair that was grazing your chin. “We will go at _your_ pace. I’m comfortable with whatever you choose to do because I trust you, so...just- do whatever you want,” you added, distancing yourself from him and moving to the other side of the bed, spreading your arms beside you in an open gester, for him to come to you and do as he pleased, which would, in turn, please you.

He leaned forward and placed his hand, smooth and lotioned, on top of yours.

“So, uh, the other day,” he began. You internally groaned at what you knew he was referencing, and interrupted him before he could continue.

“If you didn’t like it, I’m fine with it, within due time for su-” You were cut off by his fingers pressing firmly against your lips, and it gave you a sense of déjà vu. He had a cute pale pink rosey-blush on his face, and you silently thanked whatever divine beings there were out there for making his skin so susceptible to blushing. It was so cute, you had to close your eyes to shield them from the white, angelic aura forming around him.

That was his _blushing_ look - cute, pure, innocent; then there was that _flushed_ look he got during your first and probably last make out session - sexy, sheen layer of sweat, dark eyes, red lips, low grunts. **_Fuck_ **, you thought, willing for those thoughts to leave you. It wouldn’t happen again, and you needed to escape these daydreams.

Forcing yourself back to reality, you opened your eyes and pulled back immediately when you saw Sakusa’s face right beside yours, _very_ close, his naturally half-lidded eyes closing.

“What are you doing?!” He looked panicked at the volume of your voice, but didn’t attempt to move away at all, staring at you from your side unashamedly.

“What do you mean ‘what are you doing’?! You’re the one who closed your eyes- that’s basically sign language for kiss me!”

Maybe last time wasn’t the last time. You decided to just go with it, after all, it was a good thing for you to...but…

“Ok, but why are we sitting beside each other like this? It’s kind of a weird position. Just get on top of me or let me get on top of you.” This time, he looked away from you and leaned back. You cursed yourself.

“I don’t want to get carried away like last time. We should take things slow.” You simply nodded, leaning closer to him, glad that he was doing the same.

Right before your lips met, you mumbled out an ‘ok’, minty breath hitting his lips and rebounding back to yours.

You thought the kiss would be soft, but Sakusa rushed in, almost painfully smashing his lips against yours, like a sudden bright clap of thunder in a grey, stormy sky. A thought ran through your head and suddenly, you were the insecure one. You pulled away slowly, lips detaching from Sakusa’s like peeling glue off your palm, they were protesting your retreat.

“I hope you’re not just doing this because you feel forced to. If I’m doing it with you, I want it to be because you genuinely want to.” Sakusa nodded, although the movement made your head spin due to the proximity.

“I’m doing this because I like doing it with you, like last time,” he confessed and assured, holding your chin in his gentle fingers and tilting your head, pressing his lips back to yours as if he were aching for the soft and wet feel of them.

You lifted one hand, the one that wasn’t under his, and ran your fingers through his pillowy, dark chocolate curls, gripping them to pull his face closer. He groaned onto your lips and then into your mouth when you opened the kiss. The kisses were full of fervor, they were messy and wet, _so wet_ , and all you could focus on was how Sakusa, so adamant on refusing germs, was lazily licking all over the inside of your warm mouth, tongue drenched in the shared slick.

Sakusa could barely hold himself back.

He regretted his outfit choice so bad now. He had chosen the tight fit in an attempt to seduce you, more advice from some damned article, and your earlier reaction when you first saw him hadn’t gotten unnoticed, so he kept it on after the shower. But now, when it was constraining and pushing against his bulge, the pressure was making him lose his mind.

His cock was undeniably tumescent, the swelling matching the rhythm of your and Sakusa's combined heavy breaths. He desperately wished for you to apply some pressure to it, but last time had been an accident, right? Neither of you had planned whatever happened that day, when your bodies somehow ended up moving together, and he didn’t know if you really wanted to do it again, so he let go of the grip on your chin and moved it to his own shorts.

He gripped his clothed erection and squeezed it, hissing into your mouth at the feeling. It was so hard, and the sensations of the force and the kissing almost made him reach his peak immediately, but he wanted to prolong the connection with you for as long as possible, so he opted for gently palming it.

“Can I do that?” Sakusa pulled away from the mumbling against his lips and saw your eyes focused on the hand on his hard-on. He slowed down in shame and couldn’t bring himself to look you in the eyes, scared for the judgement he wasn’t ready to face. You probably thought he was so weird, for kissing you and touching himself.

“So...can I do it or are you going to do it yourself?” He turned his head to look at you and the pulsing of his cock got even more unbearable. Hazy expression, eyes lidded lustfully, lips bruised red, messy hair - there was no way to resist you. Why did he start dating such a temptress? It was torture to his hormones.

“Please,” he begged, and he felt so, so weird when he heard his own voice out loud, deep and husky, but he didn’t dare stop.

You nodded, almost too easily, and pressed your palm _hard_ against the silky material of his shorts covering his erection. His reaction was instant - curling into your touch, groaning really loud, while the hand that had been on yours gripped harshly.

You too, needed some sort of leverage to the aching heat between your legs, but you remembered his declaration from the last time. You weren’t sure if he still cared for it, but you weren’t going to take any chances, so you shifted closer to him, pulling his thigh in between yours. Using your knees to lift up the muscle, you began rubbing yourself on it, matching the rhythm of your presses on Sakusa’s own craze.

Sakusa didn’t directly let you know if he was aware of how you were getting off, but his thigh flexed and pushed further into you, eliciting a high pitched, but somewhat low, moan from you. You quickly felt yourself about to be pushed over the edge for sure, and you unintentionally squeezed Sakusa’s cock at the feeling.

When you came, you buried your face in Sakusa’s in the junction between his neck and shoulder and he followed suit, breathing heavily and biting down as he came. You felt the material of the shorts dampen a bit, surprised that his ejaculation had seeped through his underwear and leggings to get there.

The two of you stayed there for a while, heads resting in the other’s sides, before you pulled away to speak to him.

“You’re a good kisser, ya know.” He whined at the loss of contact (you would probably never get used to Sakusa, the germaphobe and Mr. Stay-Away-From-Me, begging for your touch) and glanced at you through tired eyes.

“I like your lips too,” he mumbled out, drunk with fatigue.

“You like my lips?! That’s it? What about the kissing?” You were being teasing and theatrical on purpose, which he should have picked up on.

“If it’s you, I like it,” he replied, moving closer so he could rest on you again.

“Really~? What if I stabbed you to death right now, would you still like me?”

“There’s nothing I would enjoy more than being killed by you,” he ‘confessed’, rolling his eyes. After a few more moments of silence, he began shifting away. “I’m going to go clean up. I’m all dirty now.”

“It’s a good dirty though, right? I’m also dirty,” you explained. He narrowed his eyes at you.

“Didn’t I say I wouldn’t help you the next time you were horny. Since I forgot this time, I’ll make sure to keep it in mind for future reference.”

“You didn’t help me though. I helped myself. Therefore, your statement has now officially been revoked. So, next time I’m horny, you have to touch me.” Sakusa barely needed any convincing. After realizing how good you made him feel, he wanted to make _you_ feel good too, see _you_ begging for _him_. The thought was enough to get him semi-hard.

“Fine.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope ya enjoyed! Get ready for some mouth to dick next chapter


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Late but not forgotten mouth to dick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse me for lying. I have decided not to make anymore promises anymore because of how terrible I am at keeping them. I really CONFIDENTELY said that I would upload within 2 days but look at me, here, right now, a whole ass week since the last update. I don't really have any excuses, so I won't even try to justify the wait, but here it is!

You were going to Sakusa’s house almost a week later, on the weekend like usual. The steady build up in your relationship occurred at a weekly pace, and since Sakusa hadn’t objected to anything, you assumed he liked it. He was the type to tell you to stop if he didn’t want it the slightest bit, so you knew it was fine.

What wasn’t fine were your raging hormones.

You let out the frustration that had built up in the week by kicking a small puddle on the street and watching the water droplets splash in front of you. Feeling guilty, you apologized to the puddle. 

Tilting your head upwards, you attempted to soothe your heart, that was beating inside of you like a whirlwind, calming yourself with the misty rain that landed on your face.

You definitely wanted more of Sakusa. Last time, even though you got him off, you had buried your head in his neck to suppress your own orgasm, but in the moment, you didn’t realize that you never got to see his face when he came. In all your fantasies about him, his orgasmic face was always the center, so it was your current biggest regret that you had missed the real thing.

“Wow, you’re actually punctual for once.”

You snapped your head forward in shock, gawking at Sakusa, who was very underdressed for the weather.

“WHAT THE- get back inside! What the hell are you doing outside in such an exposing t-shirt and slippers? You’re going to get sick!” It was a rare sight to see Sakusa unsheltered in rainy weather, much less not dressed properly.

“I was just waiting for you,” he pouted while you shoved him across the driveway and inside the house. When you two were finally inside, you hung your dripping raincoat on one of the hooks in his entryway and then turned to examine his state.

“Great, now look at you! Your shirt and sweats are soaked! Go change,” you ordered, and Sakusa mumbled out an ‘okay mom’ and hurried upstairs before you could whack him for his comment.

Glaring at his back before breathing out hard to calm yourself, again, you followed him upstairs.

~

Silky black boxers. A plain yellow hoodie on top of a bare torso. His outfit choice was killing you, not only because it looked so fucking seducing, but because it was covered by his soft bed sheets. You thought he had gotten the hint that you wanted some more _sexy time~_ when he got out of the closet and saw you laying in his bed without the blanket on and with the tv turned off, but he just lifted up the covers and got in beside you and then turned the tv on.

It had been over 15 minutes now, and you didn’t know what was happening in whatever show he had chosen because you were thinking of how to hint your desire more clearly,

 _Be assertive_ , you thought, as you brought your hands down to remove your shirt, looking away from Sakusa. Once it was off, you caught him watching you through your peripheral vision, bewilderment written all over his face and laced in his words.

“Wha- what are you- huh.” He had trouble forming words, but he didn’t seem to be protesting, so you continued, climbing out of your pants and chucking them on the floor beside the bed.

“It’s hot.” It really wasn’t. There were already goosebumps forming on your legs and arms. Well, at least now you had an excuse to hug your boyfriend. _Nice improvising_. “Nevermind, it’s cold.” You crawled towards him, noting that he was definitely looking at your lingerie-covered breasts and bottom.

He lunged at you before you reached you. _Mission accomplished_.

You both fell backwards from his weight, him on top, and you gazed at him innocently after the drop, batting your lashes. He wasn’t touching you at all, just staring into your eyes. When he spoke, his voice was low and slightly trembling.

“So, uh, do you just want to hug because you’re cold or…” he trailed off, gulping. Instead of responding with words, you raised your head and planted your lips on his Adam's apple, before nipping the bump gently. You ran your hand through his soft, inky curls and pushed him down, gliding your lips to his ear. You sucked on the spot below it, his flushed snowy skin slowly turning a dark red.

He breathlessly groaned into your ear for a split second before pushing you down further into the mattress, wet lips sloppily moving against yours, sometimes biting. And then he was touching you, and you felt like a sea of salty water was spraying the insides of everywhere he touched, dark blue waves littered with golden leaves, refreshing and hydrating to your glowing skin.

His hands weren't as rough or calloused as many of the volleyball players you had interacted with, such as Komori, probably because he took so good care of them, rubbing lotion on them whenever possible.

Plush, rosy lips fleeted across your nudity, leaving silky kisses and velvety licks, as Sakusa pressed his boxer-covered groin into your clothed center, rubbing it in circles. You forced yourself to look at him above you, a silver chain that was hidden in his hoodie now hovering over your face, so you wrapped your lips around it and tugged down. 

His eyes, pupils blown out, matched the dark tinges of the chaotic loose curls in a mess from your fondling, and he was puffing air out in small, low whines.

When your eyes locked, he thrust into you harder, causing you to let out an embarrassingly loud ‘ah’, followed by a couple more when he continued.

“Shit, ngh, fuck I- I’m close,” Sakusa panted, sinking his head into your side and grunting your name out. 

_Wait! No!_

You pushed him off of you, feeling a bit guilty at the way he plopped backwards into the pillows with a shocked look on his strained face. He whipped his head at you.

“What- why would you do that?!” he spat out, clearly displeased, although he made no move to come towards you again in fear that he had done something wrong.

Before responding, you looked down at the bulge in his boxers, a small wet spot where the tip probably was, and decided on your plan.

“I’m going to give you a blowjob,” you told him, your voice a bit husky from all the moaning. He looked at you in shock, watching you as you spread his legs open, and then he was very conscious of the scenario and squeezed them shut, almost smashing you between his knees.

“Why can’t we just do what we were doing? I liked it.”

“I want to give you a blowjob, if you’re comfortable with it, of course. Do you not want it?”

“No I- I do, uh, ok then, sure. Oh! Wait, I, uh, read online that it’s safer to do with a condom,” he explained, shaky hands reaching for his nightstand where he pulled out a string of condoms, one packet already ripped open.

“I tried one on so I would know what to do when the time came, but I didn’t think the time would be so soon…”

“We don’t have to do it if you’re not ready,” you affirmed, being sure to keep your voice steady and gentle and your eyes straight on his. He nodded, averting his gaze to grab a packet and take the condom out, and then looked at his erection and realized he had forgotten to take the boxers off.

“Can you take them off for me?” You wanted to scream at how _fucking hot_ he looked, with his curly hair all tousled, eyes dark and hazy, lips a bit swollen, yellow hoodie a bit risen up to reveal a sharp jutting v-line that led to the current center of your attention, straining against soft black boxers.

You simply nodded and crawled towards him on your knees and elbows. Extending your face downwards and arching your back, you bit on the strap of his briefs. Sakusa took the few seconds that you were in that position to admire the jut of your shoulder blades and the way your ass curved, and his cock twitched harshly. You dragged the fabric down with your teeth seductively, with the help of your hands just so you didn’t embarrass yourself if you failed.

You tapped his side, hinting at him to lift his ass up, and he complied. You rested them at his knees, so they weren’t completely off. Looking back up from his knees, you saw him skillfully put the condom on. One practice was good enough for a fast learner like him.

Once it was properly on and everything was set, he looked down at you seriously.

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” he assured, although you had no need for his assurement.

“I’m the one who brought it up because I want to see your face when you cum,” you replied, honestly. He raised his eyebrows and then leaned back on the fluffy pillows, trying to act nonchalant, but you could see the irregular rise of his chest and his twitching fingers. You laced your fingers through his and brought them to your hair.

“You can rest them here if you like,” you offered, before giving him a hard glare and continuing, “but if you push my head, I will slap you.” To support your statement, you untangled your hand from his and rested it against his cheek, patting it in warning. He rolled his eyes before tilting his head back and puffing out a breath.

“Hey, I wanna see your face. That’s the whole point of this,” you reminded him, grabbing his chin with the hand that had been on his cheek and pushing it downwards so you could see his face.

Once you developed a position so you could see his face clearly, you looked down at the thing your mouth was going to be on. You knew what a dick looked like from your sex ed classes and maybe some porn, but the real thing looked kind of intimidating, like it was daring you to punch it with it’s head held up so high (literally).

Before your thoughts could go off to some weird place about you and Sakusa’s erection punching it out in a boxing ring, you opened your mouth as wide as you could and brought it down on his thick, _very thick and long_ , cock. His reaction was immediate - a loud hiss, knees jerked up and wrapped around your waist, pushing you down, and his fingers pushed your head down even though your nose was already buried in his curly pubes.

You didn’t exactly have a gag reflex, you had already tested that out before, but him forcing you down made you panic, so you did as you promised. You lifted your hand from his jaw and whipped it back onto his cheek, a loud smack echoing through his room. He unwrapped his legs and let go of your hair immediately, allowing you to lift yourself off.

“Control yourself,” you warned him, and he glanced to the side in shame. 

“Sorry, it just feels really good,” he confessed, and it was impossible to not forgive him when he sounded and looked so provocative.

You grabbed his face, making him turn towards you, and gave him an empathetic look. “I’ll give you a sign if I’m fine with you thrusting at any point,” you added.

He nodded, so you went back down, willing yourself to ignore the weird cola taste, (you were sure Sakusa had good intentions with the flavoured condoms but it seemed sort of off). You wrapped your lips on his dark red tip and exhaled on it, letting your warm breath fan it, before sucking.

“Hah, so good-nngh,” he grunted out, fingers pulling your hair in all directions. You squeezed your thighs together, trying to get your own aching heat to calm down, and focused on his face instead. His bottom lip, as soft and red as a rose, was caught between the shining whites of his teeth, voice like honey as he groaned out your name.

You swirled your tongue around the head a few times before going deeper, enjoying the chokes that brought out of him. Once you were all the way down, you hummed, vibrating against his cock, and you brought your free hand - the one that wasn’t on his face in case you had to slap him - to his hip, using all the force you could muster to lift him into your mouth.

Sakusa didn’t get the hint that you were okay with him thrusting but it didn’t matter because he couldn’t resist it anyways, especially with you moaning on his cock. Fuck you looked so hot, with your mouth wide open, taking his entire cock - he knew he was far above average. Unable to hold back because of the intensity, he thrusted upwards a little, gauging your reaction, and when you didn’t slap him, he face-fucked you harder.

Sakusa could feel tears beginning to prickle his eyes because of how many sensations were running through his body: he was pounding upwards into your hot, wet mouth while you ran your fingers up and down his body underneath his hoodie, flicking his perky red nipples.

“Ah, hnn, shit, I- I’m so close, hah, f- fuck,” he whined, and you took in his feral expression. His hair was disheveled greatly, either stuck to his forehead because of the sweat or sticking up in random directions, and his tongue was out as he panted harshly. What really stood out to you was the passionate gaze he had on you, with his eye slightly twitching, causing the two moles above his eyebrow to move with it. When you made eye contact with him, slobbering on his cock and humming on it while continuing your assault on his nipples, as he shoved your face up and down in sync with his own thrusts, he came.

As soon as you felt the condom in your mouth become a bit heavier with his cum, you looked up, eager to see his expression, and then you froze from pure admiration. His eyes were hazy and he was definitely crying, you hoped from pleasure, but his dark gaze was still on you. His head was swaying a bit, and he seemed drunk, with a glittery expression like he had just become the universe, twinkling with a chaos of galaxies and stars. You doubted that you would ever see something rival his beauty, the way his two moles above his eyebrow danced with each heavy breath and movement of his.

He was still experiencing his post-orgasmic journey when you lifted yourself off his slightly limp dick. You slapped him again for good measure when it looked like he might just fall asleep and he groaned.

“Don’t pass out prince charming. Let’s clean the mess,” you said, pointing to the condom that needed to be properly discarded.

“That’s my line,” he grumbled out, but began removing the condom anyways. When he was finished tying it up, he looked at you with his milky complexion that still had a dark red flush to it.

“I don’t want to move. Throw it away for me?” You patted his cheek and smiled softly before exiting his room to throw it away. Throwing a quick glance at the time to make sure his parents weren’t due to arrive anytime soon, you made your back into his room, and your insides warmed at Sakusa all nuzzled into the bed.

“Hurry up and cuddle with me. It’s cold,” he puffed out.

“Maybe if you closed your damn window-”

“No! I need fresh air to run in and out of my room at all times or else I will suffocate. I didn’t invest in all those window screen protectors for nothing! That cost me my birthday money a few years ago.” You agreed with him on the fresh air part.

“Rooms with no windows should be illegal.” Sakusa grunted out in agreement as you climbed into the bed with him.

“Shouldn’t you take a shower?” You felt his nude hip brushing against your pantie.

“Shouldn’t you put some clothes on?” he countered, sleepily.

“What happened to being clean all the time huh? Are you the real Sakusa? Were you abducted by aliens when I went to throw the condom away?” He rolled his tired eyes at your pretense.

“Since I practice extra, and I sure as hell will never use the showers after my disgusting teammates have, I usually have to wait to shower at home anyways, so I’ve built some endurance to gross things,” he explained, shuddering at the thought of the nasty habits of his teammates. The one time he tried showering after them, the tiles were covered in their shaved hair, and he physically and mentally recoiled at that memory.

“Oh ok,” you simply responded before his words really sunk in. “Hey, are you calling me nasty?!”

Sakusa stared at your hand that had made its way out the covers and was threateningly hovering over his face.

“You got a slapping kink or something?”

“I got a slapping _you_ kink for sure,” you teased. He grumbled out a ‘fine by me’ which honestly took you by surprise because you were just joking, but he closed his eyes and ended the conversation before you could explain that to him.

“Awww, sleep then, sleepy weepy Sakusa.” He hummed as you wiped the residue of tears on his cheeks that had formed when you were giving him the blowjob.

“So...do you have a crying kink then?” He brought his hand up to your head and shoved it into the pillow, still in his sleeping position.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update? I dunno, but I'm still keeping my promise (that I won't break, hopefully) that I will update once a week or AT LEAST once every 2 weeks.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [name] has good friends with good intentions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah...first of all...almost 200 kudos and over 2000 hits! Thank you to everyone who read this and everyone who left a kudos, y’all seriously make my day and give me the motivation to continue with this fic!😡😡😡

Sakusa did, in fact, get sick from standing out in the cold that day. He isolated himself from everybody for a whole month, disappearing during lunches (even Komori had no idea where he hid when you asked him) and going home straight after school. Apparently, he had even missed a couple practices, and when he did attend, he would insist on practicing alone because he ‘could not bear to be near anyone in such a fragile state.” After that month (and a whole lot of unnecessary visits to the doctors) he was finally ‘back to normal’.

You realized that a few months had flown by and the weather was now getting colder, just weeks away from December, which also meant Sakusa’s volleyball practices had started to pick up in preparation for the Spring High National Qualifiers.

You wanted to spend the last few spare days he had before his practices would be every day with him, because after they were done qualifying, they would probably have even more practices for the actual tournament, which meant you wouldn’t see him for a good (or bad, really) few months. So you made little plans.

On one day, the two of you went to a beach. The weather was mild, a chill blowing past the warmth of the sun with a bit of fog. Not many people were there, which Sakusa thoroughly enjoyed.

On another day, you convinced him to see a movie. It had been unfortunate for your pockets though, because you had to book 3 entire rows so no one else would be near him, and although he had insisted on splitting the cost, you had to deny - it was your treat, you had insisted. The movie itself was pretty good though, a nice psychological horror film that had Sakusa clutching your arm, or the red and black leather arm seat, throughout the film while you laughed every time some dumb character died.

Probably the most memorable day was when you two went to the mall late at night, to avoid the general crowd. You knew Sakusa was excited - his regular stoic face was still present, but the brightness in his eyes was one you hardly saw, saved for his special moments. He took you to his favourite skin care stores, his favourite cologne stores, his favourite cleaning aisle in the grocery centre, all while giving you suggestions and tips to keep yourself clean, information that you soaked up in respect towards your boyfriend.

_ “Cleaning vinegar is a good cleanse for your toilet. Also for your bathtub because of the particles that float there from your toilet when you flush it. If the smell is too much for you, dilute it with some water and add some essential oils. Here, take these!” _

_ “Of course we need baking soda and lemon juice to clean the stains of coffee and sweat in Komori’s clothes! Why would you question my kindness? Someone has to clean him if he won’t clean himself!” _

_ “Ugh yes~ A microwave steamer, I have to have it! My mother always creates a mess when she heats up soup for my father!” _

_ “Trust me, this cerave face wash is the greatest thing that will ever happen to your face. I- no, nothing is wrong with your face, I’m just saying this for your own benefit- wait [name] come back!” _

_ “This Valentino V cologne is probably my favourite one by far. You should try it too- MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS SALES GUY! I DON’T CARE IF YOUR DUMB SOCIETY HAS DEEMED THIS GODLY SMELL FOR MALE USE ONLY, I’M GETTING THIS FOR MY GIRLFRIEND!” _

Sakusa had been the one to bring it up once the trip ended and you two parted ways after midnight - the two of you hadn’t really gotten any ‘alone time’ together, and beginning next week, his schedule would be too tight to fit you in for over an hour, with all the volleyball and homework (he said he couldn’t study properly in the presence of you, you would be too distracting).

So you adjusted your plans for the final day you and Sakusa could be together. You texted him some ideas, so he could prepare for when you went to his house on Saturday (you two had a lot of homework to do on Sunday).

**You** : Play volleyball together?

**Germ-Hater** : Nice starter.

**You** : Ok, what about…

**You** : Gaming? On your ancient ass phone, maybe?

**Germ-Hater** : I don’t have a very modern phone due to the amount of supposed bugs in all the apps.

**You** : LMAO☠️ but I’m serious, what games have you downloaded?

**Germ-Hater** : No,  **I’m** serious. It disgusts me how these major software companies plant bugs into these devices. I hate bugs.

**You** : They aren’t real bugs ya know.

**Germ-Hater** : Of course they are. Why else would they be called bugs? You are quite stupid sometimes.🙄

**You** : 😀...ok anyways, then maybe we can watch some AOT? I know we last stopped on Season 2, episode 5 and trust me, you’re gonna wanna see the next episode.

**Germ-Hater** : That works. I have been looking forward to resuming the marathon.

**You** : Great! I’ll bring some snacks over from the mart 2

**Germ-Hater** : That would not be great for my diet. I have to take care of my body for nationals.

**You** : Ugh fine, I’ll bring you some protein powder or something. Idk, I’ll see what healthy options they have.

**Germ-Hater** : Great. Don’t bother sanitizing the products once you have brought them. I don’t trust you that much. I’ll do it myself. 

**You** : 🙂Lemme just Kermit.

**Germ-Hater** : The frog? What? 

**You** : Nvm.

**Germ-Hater** : Ok. Anyways, am I permitted to suggest activities as well?

**You** : As you wish, peasant.👺

**Germ-Hater** : Can you give me a massage again? I think it would be well for me to loosen up a bit before the qualifiers.

**You** : Sure. So we can play volleyball for an hour or so and

**Germ-Hater** : At least 2 hours.

**You** : Time doesn’t grow on trees ya know.

**Germ-Hater** : The correction expression is “money doesn’t grow on trees”. Your lack of intelligence concerns me at times.

**You** : 🙃Ok then. Volleyball for 2 hours, massage, shower, then Attack on Titan spree. In total, probably about 4-5 hours. I have homework to do, so I can’t stay any longer than that.

**Germ-Hater** : Sounds good. I will see you on Saturday then.

**You** : K bye. Goodnight or whatever, don’t let the bed bugs bite.

**Germ-Hater** : For your information, it is highly improbable that I have bed bugs thanks to my earnest cleaning efforts every day. On the other hand, your lack of awareness attracts far too many germs, so it is likely that your entire being is infested.

**You** : Wow such fancy language. You writing an essay or something? You even got the transitions and everything.

**Germ-Hater** : Badbye.🖕

You snorted in amusement at remembering Sakusa’s last text to you from the previous night. Taking your hands out of your comfortable pockets, you raised them to knock on the chillingly cold door of Sakusa’s house (his parents house, but they, and his busy older siblings, were rarely home due to work).

Not even a second later, it was opened, and a big number  **10** was glaring at you. Looking up, you saw your boyfriend’s face curved up in a slight smirk, without his mask or gloves, spinning a volleyball in one hand. With his free hand, he poked your shorts.

“You really got dressed for playing, huh?” Sakusa teased, and you smiled at how delighted he looked.

“Yup. I brought my own change of clothes so I wouldn’t have to borrow yours,” you explained, lifting up the bag you were holding filled with essentials for when you were going to shower after playing volleyball.

“But I like you in my clothes,” he muttered out, eyes cast downwards in a pout, and you smiled even wider, high off of serotonin.

“That’s sweet, but I would probably forget to return it to you,” you admitted. Your memory wasn’t the greatest at times.

“Who said I would want it back?” You raised your eyebrows at that. Sakusa sharing? Had the apocalypse started? Before you could say anything about his rather bold statement, he tugged your arm and started walking, dragging you behind him.

“I got the coach to lend me the gym for today to practice. He doesn’t have to know that I won’t be too productive in my training session with a newbie like you,” Sakusa taunted, and you could tell that he was trying to come off as cool and calm and collected but the dark red flushed tips of his ears from behind gave him away. You just laughed and went along with him.

~

You supposed you weren’t as bad as Sakusa expected. You could easily receive his spikes and serves, and you wondered if this was an epiphany of some sort - that you were some volleyball genius.

The two of you spoke while rallying back and forth, just little conversations about your lives.

“I got an early invitation to Japan’s Youth National Training Camp after I won MVP for the tournament for the last nationals.”

“I’d be more surprised if you weren’t invited,” you laughed.

“I guess. Komori was also invited.”

“Look at how good I am though! I should join the girls volleyball team,” you exclaimed.

“Sure, if you want,” he shrugged, before tossing the ball to you. You grabbed it, holding it in place with a little frown on your face.

“What, you don’t think I’m good? If I’m being honest, I expected more from you. One of the best high school volleyball aces in Japan, and I can easily receive your spikes? I must’ve had this hidden talent all along!” Sakusa’s eye twitched.

“ _Excuse_ **you**. I’ve been going **_really_** easy on you. You haven’t even seen me at 10% yet,” he challenged, ego probably too hurt to recognize the glory of his girlfriend.

“Oh yeah? Bring it Mr. Flexible Wrists,” you mocked, bringing your fingers up in little quotations for that last part. You adjusted yourself to receive his serve, and before you could even process what was happening, the volleyball whipped past you, slamming into your side, which caused you to spin a little and ultimately drop.

“Shit, sorry, that- it wasn’t supposed to hit you,” a concerned Sakusa confessed, making his way over to you guiltily and quickly.

“Yeah, well it did you fucking-ugh,” you groaned, clutching your side. It stung like a bitch. Speaking of bitches, your  ~~bitch~~ boyfriend grabbed your side, pushing down on it, which only made it hurt even more.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Hands off, Sakusa!” You rebuked, pushing him away from you. He looked up at your scowling face and back down to your bruised side in shame.

“I’ll go get you an ice pack,” he mumbled out, face gloomy, and left before you could console his guilt. Maybe you had been a bit too harsh on him. Nah, he was a little bitch, but he was your little bitch.

He came back a minute or two later, dripping ice pack clutched in his fingers. Looking at you uneasily, he lifted it up.

“Here, take it. I’ll go...start packing up.” You reached out to grab him, wincing but ignoring the pain from your side.

“Sorry, I- I overreacted because of the pain a little. Uh, I think I’ll sit out, but you can still practice for the last,” you paused to glance up at the gym clock, “45 minutes. Then we can leave.” Sakusa inhaled sharply before lunging at you with a hug. As he squeezed your sides inconsiderately, you squealed.

“My side, you idiot, my side!”

He quickly jumped off of you, putting a lot of distance between your bodies. “Right, sorry. Just- thanks,” he choked out. “For being a good girlfriend. I really like you.”

You nodded, warily sitting down at his words. Some unpleasant feeling clawed at your insides, but you pushed it aside to watch Sakusa hit a service ace.

It could be dealt with later.

~

The words replayed in your head as you pressed against the cliffs of Sakusa’s shoulder blades. You knew your friends were only looking out for you because most of them had already been in multiple relationships before and gone through the gruesome process of breaking up that many times - but their words were grating on you like hard granite on vulnerable pillows.

_ One of my ex boyfriends broke up with me right after we had sex once. _

_ Oh my gosh, mine too! My ex said he just wanted to lose his virginity as soon as possible and I was the easiest choice… _

_ Yeah, [name] you have to be careful. I don’t know much about your boyfriend- _

_ I’m surprised Mr. Isolation is even dating someone! _

You had given the lovely friend who said that a warning glare.

_...like I was saying to [name]. I don’t know much about your boyfriend, but the truth is, a lot of us here have been in relationships where the guy leaves after one night- _

_ One night filled with banging sex- _

_ CAN SOMEONE DUCT TAPE THIS BITCHES MOUTH?! Anyways, like I was saying- what we are all trying to say is- be careful. You seem really happy about this first relationship of yours, but you should know that first loves are usually never the last. There is a chance he’ll use you for one night and then “go explore the sea full of other fish”. Yeah, one of my exes broke up with me over text with that line. I went to his house and beat the shit out of him with my mom’s 4 inch heel. Hmmm now that I think about it, that heel was definitely bigger than his dick- _

A hiss from your boyfriend brought you back into reality and you loosened the death grip you had on his shoulders.

“Not so hard,” he mumbled into the pillow, and then proceeded to grab the oil bottle and squeeze some onto his own back, still face down. The frown on your face was still there from remembering the conversation you and your friends had that one day during the month Sakusa was sick, at a café near the theatre where you all had a night out together. One of your friends had ran into her ex (that she broke up with because the ex-girlfriend psychotically cooked her pet goldfish) and thus began the talk about relationships.

You knew what people said about first loves, first relationships, first kisses - people will always move on. It was a fear you didn’t know you had. Reality was that Sakusa could get bored of you any second now, and why wouldn’t he? You still didn’t understand why he wasn’t just dating some volleyball chick. They were hot! Or he could’ve dated a girl who was a germaphobe too, not just someone that dealt with his tendencies!

Why was he with you? It didn’t make any sense.

“Oi, my back. Why aren’t you doing anything? Rub please!” Sakusa demanded, and still in a bad mood, you dug your nails into his skin forcefully.

“Ow- Hey! Ow, stop that-”

“Don’t order me around, dweeb,” you warned, and then continued the rubbing motions while drowning in your thoughts.

Your relationship with Sakusa was getting close to that stage now, wasn’t it? After making out, dry humping, giving blowjobs, the next thing on the list was penetrative sex, right? It seemed like such an adult thing, something so far from your reach, but many of your friends, and Sakusa’s friends from what he told you about their bragging, had already done it, so now it seemed more like a teenager thing.

Sex was just sex, but feelings… you didn’t just want to be fucked, you wanted to be embraced and cared for, to feel his passion for you. You wouldn’t mind just being fucked though.

They were confusing, these contradicting thoughts. On one hand, you wanted to delay having sex with Sakusa because you feared he would break up with you right away, that he would saw something like “Thanks for helping me get used to touching people sexually, now I’m going to go fuck some hot volleyball chick, hasta la vista”. On the other hand, a very desperate hand, you wanted him to fuck you silly, so hard that your worries would dissipate.

“Your turn,” you heard Sakusa say, and you felt yourself being lifted in the air for a second and flipped over, and now  _ you  _ were underneath  _ him _ .

“For the massage,” he explained at your confused and startled state, and then proceeded to lather some oil on his hands innocently like he didn’t just kung fu flip your ass. You shrugged, deciding to just go with the flow, and lifted yourself a bit to slip out of your shirt.

_ If we’re done after we fuck once, then we’re done. No need to dwell over the inevitable. _

Sakusa looked a bit surprised at your dauntless display, but in a pleasant way. His hands hesitantly hovered over your body for a second before gently settling on your hip, where his volleyball serve had struck. You gritted your teeth and leaned your head upwards instinctively at the touch, but it was bearable, until he squeezed it.

“What the hell-” You paused, furrowing your brows dramatically at his hazy appearance. Why was he looking at you like that?

“Earth to shit eater, hello?” Sakusa whipped his eyes from your hip to your eyes, a blush making its way to his cloudy soft skin.

“Sorry, but your body is very- distracting. Can you put your clothes back on?” He mumbled out, with futile attempts to avert his eyes.

“No, just control yourself or something,” you suggested, before pausing. Wait- what did he say? That your body was distracting? You glanced down at his volleyball shorts, and surely enough, there was a tight tent protruded. You were horny at the sight before you could process the situation - the two of you alone, one half undressed, the other hot & heavy with a boner.

You were ready. Even if your assumptions were proven correct, it didn’t matter, you decided.

“On second thought, I don’t mind being a distraction.” You could almost  _ see  _ the shift in atmosphere. A less hesitant, but definitely more flushed, Sakusa gently gripped your hips - hands still lathered in oil - and ran his long fingers over the curves of your waist.

“Is this fine?” He asked, voice guttural, glancing up into your eyes. You weren’t sure if he was actually that dense or if he had misinterpreted your words somehow.

“I didn’t mean ‘massage me’ Einstein. That was a clear invitation for, ya know…” you trailed off, before forcing yourself to just forego your shame, “...sexual things.”

“Oh.” He blinked, cheekbones highlighted in a dark red that ran deep through his milky skin. “ **_Oh_ ** ,” he repeated, words finally settling in. Licking his lips, he leaned in, flickering eyes glancing from your own misty eyes to plush lips, before closing them completely and pushing his honey lips against yours.

You hummed into the kiss, fighting the urge to laugh at the ticklish vibrations. The situation felt absurd. Here you were, ready for him to break up with you but still basically begging him to touch you.

He pressed his clothed cock in between your thighs, then rutted up into the center of your legs with a breathy grunt.

Physically, you felt great. The pressure was just what you needed, but your mental state held you back from feeling all the sensations you usually felt. You felt like crying, so unsure in your relationship. You couldn’t even pinpoint the exact reason as to why you felt like someone had dropped Mount Everest on your chest. Your friends' words shouldn’t have affected you this much.

All movement halted and you looked up to decipher Sakusa’s face and determine why he had stopped, but your vision was blurry. Your head felt like it was spinning in a daze, and your heart was beating for all the wrong reasons.

Cautious, oil scented thumbs brushed underneath your eyes. Oh, you really were crying. Well, that was kind of embarrassing.

You blinked a few times to get the tears out, but more and more kept pouring out. Your throat felt constricted and you couldn’t even open your mouth to sob. Great, you probably had on a blank expression, completely silent, while crying - the most confusing face to be made in history.

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” you heard Sakusa say. Did he even know what he was apologizing for? Why was everything so confusing? Why couldn’t you just let him hit it and dip? He said he liked you but there were just too many better options, people that shared interests with Sakusa, people he could indulge in every which way. Why were you even having doubts now?

“It’s me,” you choked out, trying to get a clear view of his form, now next to you, “I’m the confused one. Just- I need some, maybe some space.” You lifted yourself off the pillows and searched for your shirt.

Slipping it back on as you left his room, you turned to give him one last parting. His confused, worried, and shocked face would have made you laugh in some other circumstance, maybe one where he found a bug in his room, but currently, it just made a sharp pain ripple through your body, especially hitting your injured side, as if it were revenge for your mania.

“Good luck in the camp and Spring High Nationals. We’ll talk when it’s over,” you said with a slightly shaky voice, fists wiping your cheeks hastily. You attempted a small smile and hurried out of his house.

You friends’ words really shouldn’t have affected you that much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why am I writing this angst?☠️ I hope that wasn’t confusing. Since I didn't update last week, I tried making it up with this long ass chapter. Anywho's, I can't believe I've been writing this for almost a month. Thank you to everyone!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seggs😈

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took so long to update (skull emoji) but here it is, and it’s long af
> 
> (notice the new character tags eh)

You probably should have guessed that it would affect Sakusa’s performance.

It was easy to ignore him since you didn’t see him that much anyways, because the only time you two were together alone were during those arranged weekends, but neither of you reached out to each other (probably due to your indirect request).

The best resource to answer your questions and ease your worries was the internet, and after a week of contemplating whether or not you should post your personal life on the web, mostly because you weren’t sure how anonymous ‘anonymous’ really was, you decided to just ‘fuck it, let’s do it’.

Of course there was an online site specifically designed for relationship problems. It definitely helped that there were actual adults, some who didn’t hide their info, on the site, who responded to teenager problems.

 _Well, duh, obviously they’re gonna know because they’ve already been through this stage_ , you thought, although you kept in mind that people’s advice was not ‘God’s word’ or something.

Before you posted your own problem, you figured it wouldn’t hurt to check if other people had similar issues. If there were posts that already had answers, it would save a lot of time.

Tapping the dull plastic keys of your laptop nervously, you slid your finger across the touchpad, and the mouse on the screen followed up to the pastel pink coloured search bar. You tapped to access it, and thought about what to type. How could you word your dilemma?

_Will my boyfriend break up with me after sex?_

It seemed specific enough. With one final groan into your elbow, you clicked, praying that someone had already asked this question so you wouldn’t have to.

You were only praying for one or two similar posts, so it was more than just shocking when your screen read _436 results_. The first one itself seemed close enough to your circumstance.

_world-twink-domination_ asks:

**Hey so, like, I won’t waste any reading time with this and get straight to the point: my boyfriend is a virgin. Like, completely inexperienced, but on the other hand, I’m not. My relationship with him is fairly new, only like 2 months, and so far he has been super eager with all the things we’ve done up to now, but the problem is I’ve been in this situation before.**

**One of my exes was also a virgin, and he seemed super sweet and nice and shit, but the minute we had actual sex, he totally ghosted me (it was mostly an online thing where we met a couple times a month). All my other exes were pretty experienced, so that wasn’t an issue for them, but I feel like maybe it’s a pattern with guys who lose their virginity for the first time - that they just lose it to any dude and go about their way to fuck others. I hated being used like that, and I’m just afraid of it happening again.**

**So like, idk what to ask rlly but, maybe are there ways I can overcome this problem? Like, how do I (and I don’t know how to put this in a way that doesn’t sound weird) keep him, so he won’t just ditch me? Because I really like this guy.**

The post received an impressive total of 17 replies, but all of them were pretty long, so you decided just to look at the one on the top, with the most upvotes.

_your.fave.sex.educator_ replied with:

 **Hey** _world-twink-domination_ **! Although you’ve probably heard this many times, it is truly the best relationship tip to exist - communicate! You’re obviously not a psychic or some kind of mind reader, so the best thing to do is talk to your partner about this; is he serious about your relationship or will he leave once he enters the vast world of sexuality and decides that you have taught him enough.**

**In reality, whatever his answer is, you have no choice but to accept it, but it is important that the two of you are on the same page. Hope this helps!**

That was kind of an eye opener, you thought.

It was kind of a sad thought, one you wanted to avoid thinking about, but even you knew that ultimately, if Sakusa wanted to leave you, it was his own right to do so. Although it would be kind of shitty. At the very least, you deserved a heads up - which led you to your current predicament.

_Am I even allowed to go in this stadium?_

Trespassing or not, you decided it didn’t matter.

_At the end of the day, nobody is going to remember me for perhaps-illegally entering the Ajinomoto National Training Center for Olympic athletes to sort out my relationship problems with one of Japan’s best high school boys volleyball aces invited to the All-Japan Youth Training Camp when I die. Hopefully._

Despite the intimidating structure of the building, you walked through the doors quite easily. You were a bit disappointed at the lack of security, having already been prepared to kick down some guards in a dramatic-movie-scenic matter, but you supposed it was to your advantage anyways.

Everything was fine until you dumbly got lost while walking down some random hallway (you were regretting your lack of knowledge as to where Sakusa would even be, and further regretted ignoring the directional signs in the main lobby).

“Who are you?”

You spun around, half-relieved someone had found you and half-scared-shitless from how suddenly this boy appeared behind you.

Cold, dark blue eyes bore straight through your soul and you briefly wondered how someone could look so menacing. The moppy black hair and scowl definitely contributed to his threatening image.

“Who are _you_?” Being bratty probably wasn’t the best way for an intruder like yourself to act, but you were already on edge and anxious about confronting Sakusa.

“I am a participant of the camp currently being hosted in this arena, which, by the way,” he looked down at a sheet, eyes scanning it’s content, and when you tried leaning over and looking he snatched it from your vision with unnecessary aggression, “doesn’t have any other events scheduled for this week,” the boy leaned in closer and his expression got a bit darker, “so who are you and why are you here?”

To be honest, you were pretty sure that this kid was about to kill you - and he probably would have if Komori (bless the angel) hadn’t interfered.

“Hey Kageyama, Atsumu was looking for you-,” Komori paused his approach when he was close enough to see you, “EHHHHH? [NAME]????? What are you doing here?! Don’t tell me you got past security, they wouldn’t even let me in when I first got here! Knowing your unfair good luck, you probably didn’t even run into anyone while entering!”

Well, he was half right, you supposed.

“I want to talk to Sakusa about...some things,” you unashamedly proclaimed.

“What the- you can’t just barge into here and demand to talk to him in the middle of our training camp!” Komori exclaimed, looking at you like you were nuts.

“I can’t? Why not?”

“Yeah, why can’t she?” You were kind of surprised that this ‘Kageyama’ was taking your side, but he was also looking at you weird, like he was scrutinizing your appearance.

“Because!” Komori desperately shouted, looking back and forth at you and Kageyama, “because- just because! You’re going to distract him!”

You frowned. “Actually, I’m here to do the exact opposite. I was wondering if his performance or attitude is a bit… more sour than usual.”

“Well obviously! Especially since you two fought-” Komori slapped his hands over his mouth in an overly dramatic manner. You rolled your eyes.

“So he told you? Whatever, I guess you can say I consulted some people too.” You weren’t entirely sure that the website counted, but you supposed that the two of you had just reached out for help in different ways.

“What are you guys talking about? What do _you_ ,” Kageyama dragged out the last word, gesturing heavily at you, “have anything to do with _Sakusa_?”

This time it was you and Komori who looked at Kageyama all confused.

“She’s his-” Komori was interrupted by a really (seriously, really) loud voice.

“AY TOBIO-KUN, I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU! You will not believe what Omi-kun was saying! Trying to convince me that the model in his bag is his g-” The young male paused when he saw you and his eyes practically bugged out of his head. 

What is it with people stopping in the middle of their sentence and being dramatic today?!

“Model-chan?! You- WHAT?” You weren’t sure why this guy, seemingly the ‘Atsumu’ that was looking for Kageyama, called you ‘Model-chan’, but you supposed it was a compliment.

“Model? I thought she was your girlfriend Miya-san.” You, Atsumu and Komori all looked at Kageyama like he was crazy, but he just had on this blank innocent expression like an idiot.

“She’s _whose_ girlfriend?” You turned around slowly (it was your turn to be dramatic now) in horror at the sound of a voice that sounded raspier and lower than you remembered.

 _It’s only been a couple of weeks, calm down heart_ , you thought, heartbeat picking up excessively.

“Tobio-kun, who said she was my girlfriend?! Omi, I swear I never told anyone that she was my girlfriend. I seriously thought you were lying about it!” Atsumu explained quickly and you felt slightly bad at how nervous he was; Sakusa was giving him the ‘i-am-going-to-murder-you-and-stuff-your-insides-with-lysol-wipes’ death stare, and some wise inner voice suggested that he was also avoiding eye contact with you.

“If she’s not your girlfriend then why are you always staring at her picture?” That question from Kageyama, or ‘Tobio-kun’, made you raise an eyebrow.

‘What picture?” Your boyfriend was definitely avoiding eye contact with you. Not just him though, everyone seemed to be looking away, and you noticed Atsumu glancing, trying to be slick, at your body, gaze lingering on spots that made you want to hide away in some barrel and throw yourself off a cliff and into the deep, dark sea.

This man was a creep.

“What picture?” You repeated, making sure your voice didn’t waver. Kageyama, who wasn’t blushing nearly as much as Atsumu (and Komori, who was now the new target of Sakusa’s murderous glare), answered your question.

“The one where you’re posing on the beach in a bikini.”

A memory flooded your brain. The day you and Sakusa visited the beach together. The bikini, a carefully and purposely chosen garment, was very, very revealing. The top piece basically only covered your nipples and the bottoms were practically a thong.

You had worn it to gauge Sakusa’s reaction and were satisfied when he spent the rest of the evening pressing his watermelon red lips on your sun-kissed skin (no seriously, his lips were red from eating watermelon; his kisses were sticky and juicy as a result).

But you didn’t remember taking any pictures...

“Ok, that’s enough, you’re coming with me,” Sakusa grumbled out, clearly flustered at being caught with his scandal, taking your arm and dragging you away. 

You slapped his arm away and went back to the three guys awkwardly standing around in the hall to sort out the chaos.

“Let me get this straight,” you started, and then turned towards your boyfriend. “You took a picture of me when we went to the beach a while ago.”

He nodded, head cast downwards in shame.

“If you were going to show me off to your friends, why on earth would you choose a picture like that?” You tried to keep the frustration out of your voice, but this embarrassing situation was really getting to you.

“I wasn’t going to show it off! Miya is the one who went around snooping in my bag-”

“I was just looking for some deodorant!”

“-so I never thought anyone would look at it except for me!”

“Fine, whatever. You,” you pointed at Atsumu. “Why did that guy,” you gestured at Kageyama, then back to Atsumu, “think that I’m your girlfriend?”

“He would sneak into Sakusa-san’s room and stare at it. I know because my room is next to Sakusa-san’s and I saw Miya-san sneak in whenever Sakusa-san went to shower. I believe Miya-san had his hand down his pants one of those times,” Kageyama ~~snitched~~ explained, his face far too innocent for what he was implying.

You weren’t sure whether you were supposed to be flattered or disgusted with the information that one of Sakusa’s friends had jacked off to you. Before Sakusa could kill his friend, you continued on with clarifying the situation.

“Atsumu,” you addressed him, and he looked at you like you were going to wring him dry of blood, “first of all, calm down. I think I know what happened. You probably thought that Sakusa was just carrying around a picture of some gorgeous, exquisite, breath-taking-”

“Get to the point lady.”

“-model, one completely out of his league, may I add, as fap material. Understandable. If I was a guy, I would beat my dick to me as well,” you proudly stated. All the guys looked at you like you were psychotic.

“Well, now that everything is cleared up, you two can sort out your issues,” Komori broke the awkward silence, and beckoned for Atsumu and Kageyama to go with him.

“Don’t be late for dinner Omi-kun!” Atsumu shouted with a wink before running away when he saw Sakusa’s displeased face and threatening step towards him.

Now that the two of you were finally alone, you turned towards him but he was already walking back from where he came from, in the opposite direction of the other three volleyball boys.

“Hey, where are you going? I came here to talk with you!” Sakusa ignored you and kept walking.

Letting out an annoyed tsk sound, you rushed towards him and jumped his ass. No way was he going to escape from all of this, especially since it took you so much courage to do it in the first place.

“What the fuck?” Sakusa grunted out, startled and stumbling as your thighs maintained the grip they had on his waist. Of course, your weight had an effect on his balance, and you soon regretted hopping on his back as the two of you fell backwards.

“Shit, shit, shit-” you panicked, then squeezed your eyes shut and waited for the impact.

It never came…

  
  
  
  
  


...is what you hoped you could say, perhaps while reciting this fantastic narrative to younger generations, but sadly, it did.

“Fuck, my back,” you groaned out, trying to push Sakusa’s heavy body off of you. He quickly rolled off of you and pulled you towards him to get a better look.

“You idiot, who the hell moves an injured person?! **You’re** supposed to come to **me** , not the other way around!” you screamed at him, frustrated by his idiocy and the rough hands pulling on your lower back. You seriously hoped this man never became a doctor of any sort.

“I’m the idiot?! Who’s the bitch that jumped me? And by the way, I’m not a first aid responder or something, how would I know that?”

“Use your brain nitwit! God, why did you have to fall on me you lucky shit? Not only did you avoid getting hurt, but you hurt me more!”

There was a heavy silence after that statement, and you could hear Sakusa shuffling around to your front, weighing your words carefully.

“I hurt you?” He asked, eerily quiet, face cast downwards and his voice broke a little at the end. He buried his face in his elbow slightly, voice now muffled, and repeated himself. “I hurt you?! What about what you did?! Do you even know how I felt after you just left and- and you were crying because I- I don’t even know what I did and that’s the worst fucking part!”

He was tugging on his buoyant curls harshly, and you were afraid he would pull the precious twirls off. Well, this was not how you planned on pacifying him.

“That’s why I’m here right now to clear things up, you moron,” you shouted, annoyed but your face was expertly still, before making your voice a bit softer. “Let’s sort out out- well, really my- issues.”

Sakusa lifted his face up from his sleeve and you were pretty taken aback by the fat tears on the edge of his eyes. His nose was blushed red like a bleeding rose, and his face was quite puffy. Overall, he looked like a post-breakup mess and you were almost proud that you had this effect on him.

Shut up, inner sadist.

“Uh,” you stared at his face, unable to think properly while he looked so effortlessly beautiful, “listen, the problem is- it’s not you, it’s me, because I have some...doubts about our relationship-”

“I love you.”

You paused from shock, mouth gaping as you struggled to form any coherent words. Sakusa, on the other hand, held a firm and unwavering expression; he seemed to be very confident in his words.

“Seriously?” You finally spoke, tone dripping in bewilderment. “I was just going to- and you- you drop _that_ on me?”

Neither of you had ever confirmed your ‘love’ in words before, as both of you were more action-over-words people. You honestly thought Sakusa would never say it, because he tended to be more reserved with his thoughts and only let them peak out through his actions.

“It’s true. I mean, maybe it’s because I’ve never said it before that you think I don’t, but I really do love you. That’s why- that’s why when you left I thought maybe I wasn’t satisfying you-” he cut himself off with a built-up sob, sniffling wetly as a few tears slipped out the corners of his eyes.

“No, that’s- that’s not it-”

“Why would you leave without saying anything or telling me what stupid thoughts you were having?” Sakusa interrupted you. At this point, he had turned to rambling out his pent-up frustration.

“These past few weeks all I’ve been thinking is ‘she’s going to break up with you Kiyoomi’ but then I realized that neither of us had even contacted each other, so I thought maybe we had already somehow broken up-”

“Stop, I haven’t even begun telling you what was wrong,” you nearly shouted in his face, trying to get his attention. It was quiet for a few moments as you searched for the right words and he sat in silence, waiting for your explanation.

“I just don’t know why you’re dating me. There’s just so many more suitable options. You could date a girl from a really good volleyball team, or a girl who hates germs as much as you do, so why me? I don’t get it.”

Sakusa looked like he was actually considering your dilemma, and his gaze was directed downwards as he thought, but you continued before he could intervene.

“And that’s not it,” you whispered, causing him to look back up at you. “My friends told me some stuff, and I got a little scared. You’re not with me just so you can, I don’t know, get used to physical and sexual contact and then leave me once you have no use for me, right?”

“I’m- huh?! Sakusa grabbed your shoulders and shook them, forcing you to look up at him. When he saw your face and realized that you were actually serious and not just terribly joking, he pulled you in towards him for a hug.

“Why would you think that? That I would dehumanize you like that? I started dating you with the intent to be your partner until I die!”

“What if I die before you?” You humoured, laughing quite pathetically as your hands wrapped under Sakusa’s shoulders to wipe your wet eyes.

“Don’t,” he whispered into your side, hugging you tighter, and you momentarily dealt with the slight pain from your injury. You two stayed like that for a while before he pulled you away and gently placed his hand on top of your head.

“I’m not going to lie...your appearance definitely had a part in why I approached you,” Sakusa admitted, and you snickered a bit.

“Apart from my obvious sex appeal, what else do you like about me?”

“I can’t really think of anything to say...you’re just **_you_ **I guess,” he stated, and then added once he saw your smirk, “although you could try toning down the sarcasm at times.”

“Don’t be jealous that I’m the one who brings in all the flavour in our relationship,” you teased.

“There you go again with the sarcastic tone and the lies,” Sakusa said in an overly theatrical manner, raising the back of his palm to his forehead and pretending to faint.

“So like, are we cool?” You asked.

“You’re the one with the issues, you tell me. Do you still think I’m some kind of notorious fuckboy?”

“I think I’m fine now. I guess I’ll just accept whatever happens,” you replied honestly.

“I guess we’ll just have to have sex and you can see for yourself if I stay,” he huffed out boldly, eyes mischievous and daring.

“I guess we will,” you smiled wholeheartedly.

Sakusa raised a curious eyebrow up at how easily you complied, clearly not expecting that you two were actually on the same page, but you had been away from your boyfriend for a few weeks and all your frustration had turned into something a lot more carnal.

You made the first move, leaning in to lightly peck your boyfriend’s lips and then looking up at him through lidded eyes. Before he could close the gap between the two of you again, you spoke up.

“You know, I’m really glad we talked this through,” you frowned as a certain thought crossed your mind, “because Komori confirmed that you had been a bit down since my idiot self left that night, and it’s unfortunately impacted your performance. I’m sorry for hurting you over something so dumb and having it affect your very important volleyball agenda.”

Sakusa smiled warmly at you and slid his nose across yours in a fond manner.

“It’s alright. I should know better than to let outside influences impact my training.” He shuddered once and his face took on a more competitive approach. “At least that brat Kageyama won’t think I’m so ‘average’ anymore.”

You didn’t really know what he meant by that, but if Sakusa was happy, then so were you.

You licked your lips to wet them and fell back into Sakusa’s space, an invasion he welcomed with open arms and just as much enthusiasm. Being with him like this made you feel like a dewy, wet and cold morning bathed in the littlest warmth of sunlight.

 _There’s something worth living for in this world, and for me it’s you_ , you thought as you opened your eyes slightly and peeked at Sakusa’s scrunched eyebrows while he tried getting through your closed lips.

You smiled, plump lips shut tight, as he continued to struggle, but the clean freak played a dirty move and brought his hand down to rub at the clothed space between your legs.

That definitely made you lose your concentration, and Sakusa took advantage of the weakened barrier and slipped his tongue through your lips. You gave up on your teasing and met his doting strokes with a moan.

After a while of sloppy, wet kissing, you pulled away for much needed air.

“We should probably,” you coughed as you choked on your own, and maybe Sakusa’s spit, before continuing, “go to your room. Which one is yours?”

He nodded and offered his hand, which you took, mumbling a quiet thanks.

“This way.”

~

The second you entered the room behind Sakusa, he shut the door and caged you in, pressing his lips back to yours as if there had been no interruption.

Your bodies rubbed together and created unmatchable friction and heat, desire coursing through your veins and leaving tingling sensations everywhere Sakusa’s roaming hands fondled.

His lips fell from your own and suddenly all your moans were let out in the open, fresh air instead of his mouth. Your little gasps and ‘ah’s only increased as he sucked sweet spots down your neck.

“I want to go the whole way if you do,” he mumbled out, and looked at you through dazy eyes.

They were naturally half-lidded, almost so it looked like he was eternally squinting and judging people - but he looked a bit too seductive now. They were quite pretty as well, his eyes, with unusually dark thick lashes encasing them, fluttering like a princess’ every time he blinked, slowly, deliberately.

Glittering skin tone in diamonds, plush lips decorated with a rosy hue, dark eyes that even the most manipulative of sirens would fall prey to, so what chance did you have?

“I don’t have condoms but I’m on the pill,” you confessed, then looked to the side a bit embarrassed. “Although if you would prefer that we didn’t do it raw, that’s fine.”

“It’s more than ok,” Sakusa quickly interfered, and then he looked a bit embarrassed. He coughed before continuing. “I will pull out if that’s what you’re worried about.”

You raised your eyebrows, genuinely surprised. “I’m not worried about that. I just thought… because you might like it better with extra protection, so less of us would be touching, so it would be cleaner-”

He cut off your insecure rambling with a kiss.

“Of course that isn’t a problem. Either way we get dirty, and either way we are definitely showering afterwards. Oh yeah, then I have to sneak you back out.”

You nodded and pulled off your shirt, adrenaline now pounding through your body as you were reminded of the fact that, yeah, you had technically trespassed, and who knew what could happen if you were caught in the building, but instead you were just about to have sex with your boyfriend for the first time.

“You weren’t wearing a bra underneath the shirt?!” Sakusa hissed, eyes gone wide at the sight of your nipples already perking up due to the cold.

“It’s uncomfortable,” you replied, frowning.

“Oh, yeah. Fuck bras then.”

“My beautiful feminist,” you said, and that was the last thing spoken before you two were back at devouring each other.

You pushed Sakusa back, looking back while doing so because you still hadn’t gotten a proper look at the room, until the back of his knees hit the frame. As you pushed him down onto it, a wet string that linked your lips together was pulled and pulled until it broke.

“You’re as dominant as always,” he teased, voice much huskier than before, and you rolled your eyes with a small smile.

“Right, so just sit back and let me do all the work,” you replied, hooking your fingers around the waistband of his pants and easily sliding off all the clothing that remained on his body.

You had never seen him completely undressed before, so naturally and instinctively, you paused your actions for a moment to admire the build he had developed and worked for over a decade. His body was what you would expect of any athlete, lean; slim; toned; muscly in the right places, but what really stood out was something you were almost jealous of, something that his shirts always covered and hung over.

“You should wear tighter shirts more often. That shoulder to waist ratio is insane,” you followed your words with a whistle and he watched you, confused, as you slipped out of all your clothes.

“What does that mean?” Sakusa asked, and then ogled at your nude body.

“It means you have an unnecessarily thin waist,” you explained, a playful frown on your face as you sighed, “it might be smaller than mines.”

“Maybe you should come play volleyball with me more often. Oh wait, you suck,” Sakusa snickered. You snickered back and started laughing maniacally, and Sakusa gradually became more and more uneasy.

“Yeah, you’re right. I do suck,” and before he could ask whatever that meant, you deepthroated his entire cock and sucked harshly.

His reaction was priceless, a moment you would never forget. You knew that it probably stung, the sudden sensations, and that was certainly confirmed with all the profanities.

“Sorry, fuck, sorry!” Sakusa squealed, and you lifted yourself up, admiring the way his cock was already completely hard and ready for you. Of course, you faced a similar situation, cunt wet and sloppy, ready for him to fill.

“Ok, enough teasing and foreplay. I want you in me now,” you boldly confessed and Sakusa’s eyes, previously shut from the pain, snapped open. He licked his lips and nodded, giving a few strokes to his throbbing cock, running his finger along the veins. You itched to have those glide inside of your aching walls.

“Are you going to ride me?”

Fuck, he sounded so good like this. _Looked_ so good like this.

“If that’s what you want,” you replied, before pushing him onto the bed and climbing towards him as he backed up to the headboard. 

You straddled his muscular thighs, and he instinctively flexed them under you - the friction felt incredible. Moving forward a bit, you rubbed your vulva on his fleshy balls, and both of you let out moans, or groans, lewd sounds of the sort.

You lifted yourself up a bit to angle yourself with his cock and sat on it, sliding your pussy up and down the thick length. Sakusa’s breathing had gone considerably wild and the ghost fingers on your hips squeezed.

“If you make me wait any longer, I might die,” he confessed, face flushed red more than you had ever seen before. You complied to his wishes, letting him reach back behind you and gather your ass cheeks in his, lift you up with his hold on them and spread them.

His cock twitched, as did your cunt, and you both moved in sync.

“Kiyoomi,” you whispered breathlessly as he slid into you with one move. It hurt.

It was like everything you had read about - it burned a bit, it stung a little, and you told Sakusa to stay still.

“Just wait a few seconds please,” you begged, looking down at him through messy hair draping your eyes. He nodded and lifted himself up to peck your lips, before moving his pillowy lips down your body.

Your nipples were protruded, partly from arousal and partly from the cold in the room. Either way, they were extremely sensitive and when Sakusa began flicking his tongue on them, focusing on each one for a few seconds before alternating, you clutched his shoulders and began grinding your hips against him.

“Kiyoomi, I feel so full,” you huffed out, fanning his face with your minty breath, freshly cleaned before you arrived, palms splayed on his abs. Hearing you call him by his first name drove him crazy, considering that it was the first time you had said it and in such a circumstance.

“Can I move? Please let me move,” he begged, helplessly thrusting upwards the tiniest bit, almost unnoticeable, yearning for more but not wanting to hurt you. You nodded and after 5 seconds, decided that it was the best decision of your life.

With Sakusa pounding his cock animalistically into your cunt from below, along with the movements of your vulva rubbing against his skin, and the long breaths and whines stretching out of both of your throats, you knew this was a heaven nothing else could compare.

It was pleasure unachievable by yourself, loving the person you loved in such a vulgar and raw way. 

Sakusa thought that you were his universe in that moment - there was nothing but you, nothing his mind could think of that wasn’t you in that moment. Thanks to volleyball, his stamina was great, but the sensations you were giving him were entirely new. The feeling of having your legs wrapped around him, plush thighs squeezing his thrusting hips, was unexpected, but in a good way - an affirmation that he was not alone in this hormonal craze.

He flipped you two over, muscles bulging next to your heated face, and slid deeper into your cunt, groaning nothing but your name. You found it impossible to close your mouth, so it remained open, almost an invitation for Kiyoomi. An invitation he accepted.

Leaning down, he slipped his tongue against yours in sync with his strokes, letting you suck on his appendage with a whine, and that seemed to be it for him.

Kiyoomi came, rutting into you at an alarming speed and giving one last, hard push into your pussy before realizing that he promised to pull out. However, in the hurry that he was in, all his cum ended up spraying all over you - especially your face.

He smirked, still in a daze, at your ruined state and the pissed off look you gave him. “At least I’m still clean,” he teased breathlessly.

You didn’t let his smug face last very long, pushing him down and grabbing his very sensitive cock, surprisingly still kind of hard, and sitting back on it.

“Ow, that hurts,” Sakusa yelped. You brought your hand to his sweaty neck and squeezed the slightest bit.

“I haven’t finished,” you explained and then you continued to move, sensually rubbing in circles before you felt it creep up on you.

It hit like lightning, and caused you to arch your whole body and spasm a bit. You dropped your limp body onto Sakusa, and laughed a bit when he started complaining about his cum that you were now rubbing onto his body.

After a minute or so of just lying there, you got up and motioned for him.

“Show me where the washroom is so I can quickly clean up a bit and leave.” He nodded, opening the door and looking out for any people, before sprinting to the bathroom. You ran after him, and when you both made it to the boys locker room, you began wheezing.

“I can’t believe we just had sex for the first time in the Tokyo Stadium and ran naked in the halls.”

“Just be glad that nobody saw,” Sakusa replied, already making his way into a cubicle. You followed him and heard him groan pathetically. “I just realized that I’m probably going to be coming to this place a lot in the future, and this is going to be the only thing I’m ever going to think of.”

You smiled. “Did it feel _that_ good?”

“It was fucking- gosh, I don’t even know. Heavenly. We will be doing that a whole lot more often after nationals,” he whispered.

“Yeah, we will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, so I actually am ending this fic a little early. This was the first ever fanfiction I’ve written, so i’ve come to learn a lot about the process and what I like and don’t like to do.
> 
> There should have been more smut chapters with cool positions and outfits and whatnot, but I just have too many other projects that I am more interested in pursuing.
> 
> Mostly because I totally ship Ushijima and Sakusa now so I’m not that eager to write Sakusa x reader fics (but I still love and worship this germaphobe)
> 
> I’ve realized now that I’m probably more comfortable with writing super long one-shots (fics with one chapter that has, like, 40k words).
> 
> I hope you all look forward to my fics in the future! I really enjoy writing, and I have sooo many new ideas.


End file.
